Tag Archives: Song

When Evolution Works TOO Well

You’ve heard of Brontosaurus,

You’ve heard Triceratops,

Tyrannosaurus Rex of course,

And even the Cyclops,

But there’s one ancient animal

That didn’t live for long…

And that mystery dinosaur

Is the subject of this song:

I sing of Tacosaurus,

The terror of the south,

With a crispy shell of golden corn

And veggies in its mouth!

It roamed across the world until

Plant and meat eaters both

Decided they were tasty.

“Nom nom,” did others quoth.

So died the Tacosaurus,

But paleontologists think it’s swell

That such a mighty dinosaur

Was saved by the Taco Bell.

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You’re The Only One

When I look at you

I see the stars in your eyes,

Round and full of love

And the same blue as the sky’s.

I see your lips, so ruby red

That whisper sweet lies

And I know you’re the only one.

Your hair is like a waterfall

Caressing my cheek.

The joy I feel around you

Makes my eyes spring a leak.

If I could only find the words

I know that I’d speak

To tell you you’re the only one.

You’re the only one

Who brings color to my world,

Who’s cooler than the winter

And more lovely than the fall.

The only one so beautiful

I cannot believe

That I feel no attraction at all.

You have an angel’s heart

And a siren’s sweet voice.

My apathy towards you

Cannot be by choice.

Maybe it has to do

With how you say “nice” as “noice.”

Whatever reason, you’re the only one.

You might just be an angel

Spreading joy to the land

The light of the world flowing

From the palm of your hand.

In spite of your perfection

You simply must understand

That you’re literally the only one.

The only one that leaves me

Feeling dry in my pants,

Uninspired to sing

And unwilling to dance.

You’re like an inconsistent meter

From one stanza to the next,

Which perhaps is why, from me,

You always will go un-sexed.

You’re the only one

To walk across a fire for me.

You’re maybe my only true love,

Destined for all time is you and me.

And so as this song/poem

Finds itself so near it’s end

Know that literally everyone turns me on

But you’re the only “just a friend.”

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Filed under Lyrics, Poems

The Fisherman’s Solution


Many of us have done it.


That we would catch something.


Like a snake when we didn’t.


I’ve come up with the solution.



We use bait fish like to eat.


Through the water before them.


Out food, but that’s not what fish want.


I’ve got a solution.


Fishing needs a bait that is better,

Fishing needs bait that will make fish get wetter

And want, with their young lustful fishy young hearts.

It’s a bait for the masters, and it comes from my heart:


Master bait!

Quality in the palm of your hand!

Master bait!

When you’re bored go to the lake and

Master Bait!

You can do it in the light and the dark

And in terms of baseball

You can whack it out of the park!

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Filed under Poems