Tag Archives: Dinosaurs

Don’t Question The Logic… Just Enjoy The Conclusion

I think that absolute proof

That a time machine exists

Is the fact that someone went back in time

And found a T-Rex

And said “Aww yeah… T-Rex….”

And then got eaten

And nobody has time traveled since.

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Happy Delusions

If I had a pet stegosaurus

I think I would name it Boris

And until someone finked

That he was extinct

My family would really adore us.

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When Evolution Works TOO Well

You’ve heard of Brontosaurus,

You’ve heard Triceratops,

Tyrannosaurus Rex of course,

And even the Cyclops,

But there’s one ancient animal

That didn’t live for long…

And that mystery dinosaur

Is the subject of this song:

I sing of Tacosaurus,

The terror of the south,

With a crispy shell of golden corn

And veggies in its mouth!

It roamed across the world until

Plant and meat eaters both

Decided they were tasty.

“Nom nom,” did others quoth.

So died the Tacosaurus,

But paleontologists think it’s swell

That such a mighty dinosaur

Was saved by the Taco Bell.

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Shooting Star

A dinosaur wished upon a star:

“I wish the pain would stop!”

The star pulled out its Glock and said

“You’re lucky I’m a cop.”

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The Tyrannosaurus Rex

Was stalking the jungle

And feeling incredibly violent

When, soundless and yellow,

Urine hit the fellow

For the Pterodactyl’s pee is silent.

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JurASSic Park?

I’ve debated for a while

The moral consequences

Of selling my body for money.

But when I undress

I find to my distress

That people just think it is funny.

So I hired somebody

Who looks a bit like me

To portray me in screenwritten sex.

He’s an older man

With a history in movies

Named Tyrannosaurus Rexxx.

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And He Didn’t Even Get A Chance To Write A Title

Way way back in time

Before to burp was an imposition

And male dinosaurs ruled the earth

And female dinosaurs stayed in the kitchen…

Editor’s Note: This poem was never finished as the poet was brutally crushed to death by a vengeful time-traveling she-brontasaurus who is also your mother.

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Old Dreams

If I were a dinosaur
I’d be a stegosaurus.
I’d spend my time stargazing
And singing in a chorus.

And if predators mess with me,
With my tail, I’d resist,
‘Cause no one beats a stegosaurus
When steggy’s feeling pissed.

I’d eat some grass, then some more;
The destiny of an herbivore.
Then I’d be eaten when I’m old.
A fitting fate, so I was told.

And when I got lonely,
I’d go searching on Steg’s List
And remember my old Triceratops
And how it hurt when we kissed.

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Etiquette Rex

“I want meat! I need to eat!”
Said T-Rex to his mother.
His mother roared a weary sigh,
As if to say “Oh brother.”

“What are the magic words?” She asked
As she cooked up a meaty stew.
“Plesiosaurus,” T-Rex replied,
“And also, mama, thank you.”

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