Tag Archives: Dinosaurs

Shooting Star

A dinosaur wished upon a star:

“I wish the pain would stop!”

The star pulled out its Glock and said

“You’re lucky I’m a cop.”

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Jurass-is-Grass

The Tyrannosaurus Rex

Was stalking the jungle

And feeling incredibly violent

When, soundless and yellow,

Urine hit the fellow

For the Pterodactyl’s pee is silent.

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JurASSic Park?

I’ve debated for a while

The moral consequences

Of selling my body for money.

But when I undress

I find to my distress

That people just think it is funny.

So I hired somebody

Who looks a bit like me

To portray me in screenwritten sex.

He’s an older man

With a history in movies

Named Tyrannosaurus Rexxx.

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And He Didn’t Even Get A Chance To Write A Title

Way way back in time

Before to burp was an imposition

And male dinosaurs ruled the earth

And female dinosaurs stayed in the kitchen…

Editor’s Note: This poem was never finished as the poet was brutally crushed to death by a vengeful time-traveling she-brontasaurus who is also your mother.

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Old Dreams

If I were a dinosaur
I’d be a stegosaurus.
I’d spend my time stargazing
And singing in a chorus.

And if predators mess with me,
With my tail, I’d resist,
‘Cause no one beats a stegosaurus
When steggy’s feeling pissed.

I’d eat some grass, then some more;
The destiny of an herbivore.
Then I’d be eaten when I’m old.
A fitting fate, so I was told.

And when I got lonely,
I’d go searching on Steg’s List
And remember my old Triceratops
And how it hurt when we kissed.

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Etiquette Rex

“I want meat! I need to eat!”
Said T-Rex to his mother.
His mother roared a weary sigh,
As if to say “Oh brother.”

“What are the magic words?” She asked
As she cooked up a meaty stew.
“Plesiosaurus,” T-Rex replied,
“And also, mama, thank you.”

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