Living in the Arctic
Isn’t easy, so I’m told;
It’s devoid of food and shelter
And interminably cold.
But worse than frigid weather
Or starvation you should know
Is that even on the warmest days
The wi-fi’s always slow.
Tag Archives: Survival
Live To Fight Another Month
There once was a man with a wife
Who, for some reason, valued his life.
Twas the week of the shark,
So he went to the park
Knowing she’s apt to wield a knife.
Filed under Poems
Why Adventurers Just Don’t Anymore In 2022
We survived a drowning island.
We endured the burning sand.
We outlasted freezing rain
And our cousin’s cover band.
We’ve outrun giant boulders
And a crazy nazi horde
But when the radio plays songs
By Taylor Swift… Oh Lord!
Filed under Poems
A Very Factual Excuse
A monstrous weasel murdered me
Yesterday around 8:00.
It was rather inconvenient
Which is why this poem’s so late.
Filed under Poems
How To Win A Fight With A Gorilla
Just don’t watch your children
When you take them to the zoo.
If it worked for Harambe
It’ll probably work for you.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 