My mind is hot and swirling
Like my brain is in the dryer.
I try and try to calm myself,
But blood pressure gets higher.
I’m schooled in meditation,
But can’t think of what they teach,
Because tonight I have to give
A seven minute speech.
I’ve written out my note cards
(On paper and in the cloud).
I’ve proofread it a hundred times
And read it all out loud.
Yet my heart beats, my palms sweat,
And the world feels surreal
Because, for my seven minute speech,
I’ve four minutes if mater’al.
And so I am rewriting,
Adding anecdotes and facts,
Undoing all my “control-Z’s”
And redacting my “redacts.”
And as my fevered fingers run
Like the witch chases Gretel and Hansel
I’m giving a seven-minute prayer
That they have to call and cancel.
Filed under Poems
First Monday of November:
The very special day
When thousands of aspiring writers
Throw NaNoWriMo dreams away.
Filed under Poems
Hello dear readers, and dear writers too.
Boy do I have some big news for you!
Though this blog does fill my heart
And satisfy my passion for mediocre art,
I’ve decided to take it one step more.
Here is what I have in store:
I call it the Quarterly Travesty,
A publication made by me
That features works of comic strife
That infiltrates everyday life.
The Quarterly Travesty will debut
In September. Now, what’s in it for you:
I’m looking for writers to submit
Your comic creations, and I’ll publish it.
(This is subject to some conditions,
But you probably had such premonitions).
So if you’ve got a poem or two,
A bit of short fiction, comic strip, or cartoo’,
A letter, a joke, or whatever’s funny
That you want to see published, just send it to me.
For those whose comic preferences head
Not towards creation, but to reading instead
I’ll be publishing updates about the e-zine
Right here on the blog, Where it’s sure to be seen.
Please leave your feedback and what you’d like to see.
Your opinions are very important to me.
Thanks all for reading. You guys are the bomb!
(Send your stuff to thedailytravesty@yahoo.com)
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
i wrote a novel about a guy
Who could do magic. Even fly.
But i dont now why it was rejected:
And i cant help but think “how unexpected”!
Filed under Poems
A description of a setting
The lonely artist loves.
Introduce the poem’s subject
Rhyming with the line aboves.
Introduce a conflict,
But done with exquisite taste,
Then end it with a poignant line
And highlight, copy, paste.
Filed under Poems
Time’s new roman
Was a bold chap
Born in Rome
So I guess
He’s Italic.
He tried to fly,
But with no wings to flap
It was hard
To get Arial.
(Or phallic).
So he took up bowling
And his shoes were Size 12
He bowled strikes
And Strikethroughs.
Pins reset-ica.
And he once bowled a gutter,
And oh did he yell-ve.
He shouted “undo!”
And then
“What the Helvetica!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 