Tag Archives: Coffee

That’ll Wake You Up!

Some people pour milk in their coffee.

Some people pour milk in their tea.

This morning I mixed up the orange juice and milk.

It was as you’d expect it to be.

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Correlation

I think that caffeine

Is good for your spleen,

And I have evidence to back it up:

How often have you seen

Someone hurt a healthy spleen

While savoring something in a Starbucks cup?

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Self-Inflicted Problems

Coffee and tea

With my good friend Cindy.

Coffee and cake

With my other friend Jake.

Coffee and porn

With my buddy Bjorn.

Coffee and grub

At the insomniac’s club.

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It’s The Small Details

When I drink my morning coffee

I think about my wife,

And how the two of them together

Give me such a perfect life.

And when I drink my evening coffee

And I lie awake at night

I know neither one has chest hair,

And that makes me feel all right.

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Sermon On The Scale

Blessed are the cheesemakers

Who turn milk into gold

By putting it in barrels

‘Til it’s really, really old

(And occasionally covered in mold).
Blessed are the coffee roasters

Who make heaven out of beans.

They harvest the energy of life

Among the coffee greens.

(To top it off, their uniform is partially blue jeans).
Blessed are the chocolatiers

Who shape, box, and decant.

For them my praise has no end,

And neither does my rant.

(Their uniform also includes a form of denim pant).
Blessed are the ice cream men,

And ice cream women too.

They make a food that’s wonderful,

And you don’t even have to chew!

(It seems that most good things in life come from the things that moo).
Blessed are the liposuctionists

Who make the other four

A possibility, and let

Me eat enough for four.

(And now my sermon is complete. No go and eat some more). 

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