Tag Archives: Breakfast

But You Have To Pour The Milk First

One day at breakfast I asked my niece

“What if a bowl of cereal were all just one piece?”

My niece said, “I don’t mean to boast

“But I invented that cereal. I call it ‘Toast.’”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

TV Breakfasts

Mom and Dad both work all day

But when the morning breaks

You should see the breakfast

That Mama somehow makes:

A hundred stacks of pancakes,

Bacon, toast, and jam,

Four glasses of fresh orange juice

And a massive honey ham,

And upon this wondrous bounty

Cometh the kids and Dad

They grab a strawberry and run

And Mom’s not even mad…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

That’ll Wake You Up!

Some people pour milk in their coffee.

Some people pour milk in their tea.

This morning I mixed up the orange juice and milk.

It was as you’d expect it to be.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

You Didn’t Eat Your Broccoli, Thus…

Satan wants to eat your soul for breakfast.

Yeah, that’s a thing that Satan wants to do.

His mouth’s already watering

At the prospect of slaughtering

That tasty human spirit that is you!

Satan wants to eat your soul for breakfast.

I heard him to his Mrs. Satan say

“Hey, why don’t you and me go

“Have some eggs and Human Ego

“As a nutritious snack to start the day!”

Satan has a hunch

That it’s too soon for lunch

And, by that logic, also too soon for dinner.

But they don’t sleep-in in Hell

And to start his day off well

You are the perfect portion size of sinner!


Satan wants to eat your soul for breakfast.

He wants to fill his belly with your Id.

I hope you’ve read your Dante

‘Cause you’re what Satan wants. Hey!

That’s what you get for being a naughty kid!

Leave a comment

Filed under Lyrics, Poems

Perfection’s Exception

The rules say nothing’s perfect,

That all things have their flaws,

But I’m pretty sure that pancakes

Always disobey such laws.

The other perfect things

As my reckoning would go

Are unfixed wrestling matches

And Las Vegas’ August snow.

Since the things I mentioned

More than likely don’t exist

I rest my case for pancakes.

(Let me know if there’s something I missed).

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Traffic Jam

I put some rubber on my toast

Along with smog and frustration,

Mixed with a soupsant

Of despair and irritation.

It wasn’t a great breakfast,

But I didn’t want to shirk,

So I had toast with traffic jam

On my way to work.

1 Comment

Filed under Poems

An Ode to Breakfast-All-Day

Consider ye the pancake,
Round and fluffy white
Whose presence dost command ye
Not to tarry, but to bite.

Consider ye the bacon
And the eggs and sausage too,
Who existed once as animal parts,
But now only to please you.

Consider ye the cereals,
A meal which is pourable
And whose very presence
Makes prepared food deplorable.

Finish your consideration
With a piece of toasted bread
Which equals any man or lady
In its worthiness to wed.

And so with all these options
It is time that we get real:
For what purpose exists
To eat any other meal?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems