Tag Archives: Ghosts

Why Ghosts Are Angry

Greg had no reason to live anymore

So he bought a rope and locked the door

And made a new necklace he tied to the roof

And fell to his death without uttering “oof.”

He opened his eyes and he looked all around

And saw his cadaver and angrily frowned;

Yes, he succeeded in becoming dead

But now he’s a ghost, and immortal instead.

Worse, now the tourists come hither and yon

For signs of the ghost of Greg, who is gone.

He’ll wail and shriek and pray for some help

But the tourists just cheer and write “Five stars” on Yelp.

If its deserved or not, no one can tell

But Greg lives forever in introvert Hell.

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That Feels Possessive…

I checked into a hotel room

That was almost six feet tall,

Weighed 180 pounds

And once was very small.

I used it for one happy day

To run around the world

Then checked out in the evening

As on a bed it curled.

I checked back in tomorrow

But found it was today

And the room I’d left behind me

Was mostly still okay.

I expect to keep this up

For quite a while yet

For, being an ambitious ghost,

It’s the best that I can get.

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Why I’d Make A Lousy Ghost

I try to be original

When compliments I make.

I try not to be boring

For the complimentee’s sake,

So purely inintentional

Was my word-choice slight.

Who knew “you’re an opaque one”

Was not thought as polite?

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The Lament Of An Atheist Ghost

If you kill me

‘Til I’m dead

By hitting me

Upon my head

I will not get

Revenge on you

‘Cause that’s not a thing

Dead folks can do.

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Accordian to the prophecy…

Some Texan ghosts have moved in;
To dance with them they want us.
It makes me feel special somehow
To say they polka haunt us.

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