“Let’s hear your riddle,”
I told my dear one.
“It’s been around
Since year one.
“It’s got no spine,
No heart, No brain.
It’s loved in France,
But seldom Spain.”
What do you mean
It’s the letter Q?
I thought the answer
Was you!
Tag Archives: Humor
My Ex-Darling’s Riddle
Filed under Poems
Say Yes to Rejection
The mountains stood
Like great cones of earth
Sticking up out of the ground
While little blue birds
Flew in circles above,
Around and around and around.
I walk on the trail
Between these great peaks
Place my feet where the ground is flat.
And the birds are so blue
Like sapphires on a crown,
Precious stones in a round metal hat.
As I sing to the breeze
Like the wind to the trees,
Moving air melodiously,
And I think of the woman
Who told me “Take a Hike.”
Didn’t know that she’ll show dis to me.
I did get a life
And next time I see ‘er
We’ll take a long walk together
Off a short pier.
Filed under Poems
Monopolizing Love: 3 Poems
Our love is like board walk
With a hotel.
It’s great if you have it,
But expensive as hell.
Our love is like park place.
It’s worth it to invest,
But we can’t help but feel
It’s only second best.
Our love happened purely by chance,
And I thought that was all for the best.
Then I heard about your four-house reputation
And your nickname, “Community Chest.”
Filed under Poems
On Marriage
What is a wedding
But an exchanging of rings
Between two willing people
Who are scared of different things?
Filed under Poems
Excuses: Plane and Simple
Hello officer.
Beautiful day!
Wouldn’t you like
To put the pad away?
I know I was speeding,
But I can explain.
See, this car I’m driving
Began as a plane.
I was flying a mission
Over Afghanistan.
I was low on gas, thinking
“I gotta land dis, man.”
So I steered for my base
And managed to crash land
A few miles from here
On some beautiful grashland.
I didn’t want to get spotted
By the enemy, so
I disguised my busted plane
As this beat-up GTO.
But the engine runs fine
At three hundred per hour,
And for a car this size
That’s just too much power.
So please, officer
Cut this soldier some slack.
I’m far from my base
Just trying to get back.
Filed under Poems
Try Everything Once
Unlike you
And unlike me
I know no whales
Who like to ski.
So don’t be whalish.
Be open minded
And lots of fun
Is what you’ll have finded.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
One More (Just for the Helen of It)
There once was a hot chick from Troy
Who caught the eye of a boy.
They overreacted
And a war was enacted
And thousands of ships got destroyed.
Filed under Poems
A Font-astic Bowler
Time’s new roman
Was a bold chap
Born in Rome
So I guess
He’s Italic.
He tried to fly,
But with no wings to flap
It was hard
To get Arial.
(Or phallic).
So he took up bowling
And his shoes were Size 12
He bowled strikes
And Strikethroughs.
Pins reset-ica.
And he once bowled a gutter,
And oh did he yell-ve.
He shouted “undo!”
And then
“What the Helvetica!”
Filed under Poems
Condescending Tree
“Long skinny tree,
Tell what you see
From your vantage point
Up in the sky.”
“Well short human man,
I’ll tell if I can,
But I’m afraid
I don’t have any eyes.”
“So you mean to say
That trees go all day
Without ever seeing
Your beautiful view?”
“Yes indeed, I am blind
Just like all of my kind.
But at least I am tall,
Unlike you.”
Filed under Poems
