Tag Archives: Police

Why Cops Love Summer

The twinkling stream

In sea-foam green

Was strolling o’er the rocks

And on the sand

A merry band

Were clothed in naught but socks.

They danced about,

Let it all hang out,

Just happy to be young,

Especially he,

Who’s six-foot-three

And very amply-hung.

Their harmless fun

Had hurt no one

But the cops lacked any pity:

“This here stream,

“Rural as it may seem,

“Is legally still the city.”

The cops gave out

With an air of clout

Citations to the nudists.

They seemed unstressed

As they got dressed

As if they all were buddhists.

Now clothed, the band

Heeded police demand.

It’s true! I checked on Snopes.

Unclothed, unarmed

They went home unharmed,

So black folks: there’s still hope!


Filed under Poems

Excuses: Plane and Simple

Hello officer.
Beautiful day!
Wouldn’t you like
To put the pad away?

I know I was speeding,
But I can explain.
See, this car I’m driving
Began as a plane.

I was flying a mission
Over Afghanistan.
I was low on gas, thinking
“I gotta land dis, man.”

So I steered for my base
And managed to crash land
A few miles from here
On some beautiful grashland.

I didn’t want to get spotted
By the enemy, so
I disguised my busted plane
As this beat-up GTO.

But the engine runs fine
At three hundred per hour,
And for a car this size
That’s just too much power.

So please, officer
Cut this soldier some slack.
I’m far from my base
Just trying to get back.

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Filed under Poems