Tag Archives: Insurance

Or We Could Just Choose An Animal And Interrupt Your Football Game…

Back when Youtube first began

A bunch of kids created

Videos so funny that

Folks nearly suffocated.

Now, insurance companies

Pay grown-ups lots of money

To make commercial messages

Which somehow still aren’t funny.

If you want to sell me

Some insurance or the like

You should fire your writing staff

And hire some kid named Mike

‘Cause when I see an ad that says

“We’re expensive, we won’t lie

“But we’re not just corporate assholes”

That’s the moment that I’ll buy!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Insurance Be Like…

I called Permanente Kaiser

‘Cause I had pain in my incisor.

What they said seemed rather ruthless:

“Pay up or you’ll soon be toothless.”

1 Comment

Filed under Poems

For Those Of You Wondering…

Whether getting or giving,

As long as you’re living,

No matter how epic the thrift

It will always be true…

(Just between me and you)

Life insurance is a bad birthday gift.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Yet More Stupid Wisdom

Those who live in glass houses

Should definitely throw stones

So they can collect insurance money

And use it to buy normal homes.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems