Too many monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and cracked his head.
His mama called the doctor and the doctor said
“What kinda Planet of the Apes shit is going down at your house, monkey mama?!”
Lots of police men knocking at the door.
The doctor asks “what is this for?”
Police say, “violent language towards Simian-Americans. What’s more
“We’re revoking your medical license and giving you life without parole.”
Filed under Poems
We have so many electric guitars
And so many chimps in the zoo
And yet humankind
Has not had the mind
To try out combining the two…
Filed under Poems
Monkey see monkey doo.
Monkey cleans up monkey poo.
Monkey reminds, for everyone’s sake
That difference a comma and an “o” can make.
Filed under Poems
When things go bananas in the bedroom
Don’t you worry. Nothing’s wrong!
You’ve just received the blessing
Of the famous Kinky Kong.
Filed under Poems
I was driving to meet Lady Mulberry
When I heard great caterwauling.
A melee of a feral type
Had broken out. Appalling!
As I drew closer I clearly saw
That an ape and weasel sparred.
The weasel adroitly popped the ape
Who slunk away, badly scarred.
I realized I’d witnessed
A nasty, brutish crime
(Though around the bush in Mulberry
It happens all the time).
So I called the cops on weasel pops
An ambulance for the chimp
Who got in the bus without a fuss
But a very noticeable limp.
Then I left the bush district
Past other rodents and macaques
Until I reached my Lady’s venue,
A restaurant called Jack in the Box.
Filed under Poems
It’s a hard life being a monkey,
So every Friday night
You can cruise through town, looking to drown
Your worries, or see a fight.
You head on down to the monkey bars
Where every monkey’s welcome
To drink a drink and fling their poo
eat lice, and raise some Hell-come.
But there’s an ugly fellow,
A gorilla by name of Tim.
When he swings by, the parties over,
And it’s back to the jungle, Jim.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 