I play “Blue”
For 22.
You play “defenistrate”
For 108.
I play “equine”
For 59.
You play “Chrysanthemum”
For 201.
I play “admittance”
For a pittance.
You play “kalamazoo.”
Why do I still play with you?
Tag Archives: Postaday
Discrimination
I don’t mean to turn molehills
Into figurative mountains,
But tall and short people
Still must drink from different fountains.
Filed under Poems
An Unappreciated Gift
The shape of Mount Everest,
And nearly the size
My dog’s defecation
On my neighbor’s lawn lies.
The shape of an axe
(Because that’s what it is),
My neighbor reminds me
To keep off what’s his.
The shape of a puppy
And the acent of a fart,
My dog watches this thinking
“They just don’t get my art.”
Social Games
So I hear you’re watching Jeopardy
And thinking “hey, that could be me.”
Alas, the auditions passed
And it turns out you weren’t cast.
Sure it’s sad, but cheer up the though!
I’ll cast you for another show.
If you’re good at playing games,
And have trouble remembering names
You’re on the show! Congrats! Yoo hoo!
It’s called “how the heck does that guy know you?”
Filed under Poems
1040-eHarmony
Internet dating
And income taxes
Are emotionally the same.
There’s little fun
In either one,
And both will cause you pain.
No one says
“I’ve made enough
“And I’m happy to contribute
“To an elite few
“Who’ll give to you
My wealth to redistribute.”
Likewise, those
Who go online
To stop their solo-selfie habit
Will seldom say
“She looks ok.
“I just hope we don’t kill the rabbit.”
Instead, you
Fill out some forms
Which make you very bored.
A silent alarm
Says “this may cause harm,
“But chances are you’ll be ignored.”
You look closely
For line 1F,
It’s gone, but you search some more,
Then you say “good enough”
To five digits of fluff
(Or for poets like me, prob’ly four).
And then your attention
Goes all out
On trying to attractively answer
“What makes you feel alright
“On a Saturday night?”
When the truth’s “writing poems about Cancer.”
And when you’re finished
You feel exposed
And tired from each number and letter,
But you won’t go to jail
Or with sexy toys flail.
Now there, don’t we all feel better?
Filed under Poems
One Letter Off
I said she smelled flagrant
And her mood got all wrecked.
It didn’t help when I said to her
“Autocorrect.”
Filed under Poems
Bad-Boy Musicians?
I’ve played the trombone
Since I was eight-years-old.
“No one loves trombonists”
I’ve frequently been told.
Despite this I persisted
With an empty heart and bed,
But now I think I’ve had enough.
I’ll play the accordian instead.
Filed under Poems
Who Needs An Angel When You Already Have Halo ™?
It’s Sunday evening.
I’m alone
With no new numbers
In my phone.
But don’t you dare
Feel sorry for me!
My night may be dull,
But at least it’s free.
Filed under Poems
Last Chance!
To those of you
Who’ve found a love,
Or maybe just a date,
Tomorrow you’ll
Have happiness
From early until late.
For those like me
Who are alone,
Why are you still reading this?
You’ve still got
Some hours left!
Find something not-too-gross to kiss!
Filed under Poems
The Don’s Last Trust Fall
I’m a confident man
But sometimes I think,
“Maybe I’m wrong.”
“Maybe I’ll sink.”
Then I listen to the river
And I do what I must;
What’s the weight of lead shoes
Next to the strength of our trust?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 