Why did the [subject]
[action in past-tense]?
Because [satisfying irony],
But that’s just my two cents.
Tag Archives: Postaday
Thank Very Much For Financial Consideration
If I were a Nigerian prince
With a million bucks to spare
I’d buy all the world’s balloons
To fill with mountain air,
Then withhold them from the peasants
Instead of sending cash to you
‘Cause that’s a dick decision
And it’s what dictatorial princes do.
Filed under Poems
Watching Samuel Beckett
Humumumumumumumumumu
Dragons…
Humumumumumumumumumu
Broccoli…
Humumumumumumumumumu
Yes, you really did pay money for this…
Humumumumumumumumumu
Humumumumumumumumumu
Applause…?
The Wife And Mr. Chicken
No one warms my heart like you do,
For three minutes on medium heat.
Our families and neighbors judge us harshly
But I’m glad, to you, I’m just a piece of meat.
Filed under Poems
Alas, I Have Succumbed
I broke a lifelong promise
And I signed up for Twitter.
I did it without fireworks
And very little glitter.
I probably won’t post too much
But you never know.
May as well go follow me
To read the end of this po…
David Kappele @Daily_Travesty
Filed under Poems
At Least They’re Gramatically Correct
Once again I’ve been so busy
Doing other things
That I struggle to write a poem
Before the new day rings.
I’d say the quality suffered
But to do so would be a sin
For these poems had no quality
With which to begin.
Filed under Poems
Why There Are So Many Non-Christians
And on the seven-million-fourteenth day
The Christian God said “let there be
“An era of slow internet.”
No other explanation do I see.
Filed under Poems
Maybe I Should Quit Looking Online
My perfect girl is tallish,
Between 4’6″ and 6’11”.
She’s morally relatable,
Bound for either Hell or Heaven.
My perfect girl has two eyeballs,
Or maybe one or three.
They could be green or blue or brown
Or red. It’s all good for me.
My perfect girl has some fingers
And a near-equal number of toes.
I’m sorry that I have to be picky
But she must have fewer than two torsoes.
My perfect girl comes in all shapes
Yet all I seem to find
Are the 7’0″ five-yellow-eyed, limbo-bound, poly-torsoed
Asymnetrically-finger/toed kind.
Expect Many More Of These :-)
Some days I write a poem
That’s actually very good,
The day after which I struggle
To write something equally good
But then I rhyme a word with itself
And it goes off the rails from there
And I realize no matter what I do
It’s not going to be as good
So I relax and quit trying.
Filed under Poems
My Evenings In A Nutshell
A few minutes ago
It was ten o’clock
And I yawned as I started for bed.
Now five minute later
It’s midnight
And awakeness is filling my head.
You may think I’m lying,
That physical science
Will prove that this poem’s untrue
But I beg to differ.
It’s a sterling example
Of what late-night Youtube binging can do.
Filed under Poems
