Tag Archives: Taxes

Evidence For Those In Support Of The Belief That Puns Are The Lowest Form Of Humor

Sometimes I take a bath

To ease the stress of taxation.

I fill the tub with herbs

Such as thyme for relaxation.

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1040-eHarmony

Internet dating

And income taxes

Are emotionally the same.

There’s little fun

In either one,

And both will cause you pain.

No one says

“I’ve made enough

“And I’m happy to contribute

“To an elite few

“Who’ll give to you

My wealth to redistribute.”

Likewise, those

Who go online

To stop their solo-selfie habit

Will seldom say

“She looks ok.

“I just hope we don’t kill the rabbit.”

Instead, you

Fill out some forms

Which make you very bored.

A silent alarm

Says “this may cause harm,

“But chances are you’ll be ignored.”

You look closely

For line 1F,

It’s gone, but you search some more,

Then you say “good enough”

To five digits of fluff

(Or for poets like me, prob’ly four).

And then your attention

Goes all out

On trying to attractively answer

“What makes you feel alright

“On a Saturday night?”

When the truth’s “writing poems about Cancer.”

And when you’re finished

You feel exposed

And tired from each number and letter,

But you won’t go to jail

Or with sexy toys flail.

Now there, don’t we all feel better?

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Anything But That!

Putrid lasers fill the air
At the annual super villain’s fair.
Cackles dance among the stars
As they network and blow up cars.

And I look on with quiet glee,
Knowing the evilest of all is me.
I will release a weapon of dire stress:
A letter from the IRS.

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