Tag Archives: Social Media

Keep On Writing

Remember when we wrote things

For other folks to read

That answered all their questions

Or satisfied a need?

And sometimes we would write things

To create a laugh or smile,

To push you through a challenge

And inspire you through a trial.

Now we write for metrics

Like “likes” and “views” and “shares”

And instead of smiles and laughter

We get 100-mile stares.

But if we write the things we like

And refuse to drink

That vile-flavored Kool-Aid

Called “What other people think”

Perhaps we’ll crack a smile

Or persevere ourselves

Until we write a something

That can decorate your shelves.

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And Then The Lord Did Unfriend Me

God made me a sandwich

And told me not to tell

But that’s my coolest story

So I’ll see all y’all in hell.

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Supervillains In The Time Of Social Media

So no one pressed the button

And no one cut the wire

And the number of both tocks and ticks

Is growing ever higher

And I’ve haggled and I’ve cackled

And liked, shared, and commented

But my existential ticking threat

Has in no psyche cemented.

I’m once again tequesting

That you face a villainous choice:

Press the button or cut the wire.

Go on and raise your voice!

That’s all for now my puny foes

And future grimly-oppressed.

Now I’m off to my one-bedroom lair

To scheme and be despressed

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Tick Tock? Wait… That’s Not Right…

I had an hour this evening

So I watched Youtube for ten minutes.

Now it’s Saturday morning.

Funny how life goes, innit?

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When You Have A Questionable Job And Media-Literate Coworkers

Today I went back to work

And I had an amazing day

That was absolutely fantastic

In every single way!

I got paid well and my colleagues

Are fine, upstanding folks

And I’m sharing this with you

So I don’t get fired for writing jokes.

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Social Media

There once was a dancing woman

Wearing as little as legal

Dancing while some AI hip-hop played

Advertising food for her beagle.

A number of bots decided

It was worth watching ten million times.

It’s probably better on TikTok

But hey, my version rhymes!

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Privatize Social Credit?

Instead of food or clothing

We should donate cameras

To the homeless and the needy

And the reason is because

A stinky guy with bad hair

With the sign: “I’m live on Twitch”

Will get people to donate more…

At least that’s my pitch!

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Everyone Loves Being Notified Of The Ordinary Life Of Acquaintances

There once was a millennial parent

Who thought it completely apparent

That people online

Wanted to see their kids doing fine

But it turns out those people did caren’t.

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Meta: Because “Livestock.com” Was Already Taken

The zebras neighed appreciatively

As the keeper gave them feed,

Thinking that the keeper

Sought to fill their every need.

The keeper spread the hay around

Like he did every day

So the owners of the zoo would keep

On giving him his pay.

The owners of the zoo filled out

The keeper’s monthly check

Knowing that without him

The zoo would be a wreck.

The zebra’s didn’t know

They were a product to be used,

Nor the keeper that his purpose

Was to keep visitors amused,

But the owners knew implicitly

That if the keepers and the beasts

Learned they were important

The owners would have to stop their feasts.

So too when surfing internets

And spying on your friends

You’re given an experience

Where pleasure never ends

Not knowing that the feeding

Is to keep the product still,

To exercise no power,

And to do the keeper’s will.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t eat

But just to look and see

The reason billionaires can give

You all this stuff for free.

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The Nasty Aftertastes Of Society That Won’t Go Away

I feel like at this point

Most people would agree the

Invention of social media

Was a really bad idea,

While at the same time saying

“We can do nothing about it”

And most of those agree

That they could not live without it.

The same has gone for junk food,

Fancy coffee, cigarettes:

We consume them faster

Than we process our regrets.

I look forward to the day

When we look at that list

And add the important footnote

That governments shouldn’t exist.

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