Margaret died and stood by God
And looked on all there was:
An ageless, endless universe
With countless lives abuzz,
Singing songs that never stop
In perfect harmony
And Margaret said, “They must be sad
“To be there without me!”
A side effect of internet
Expanding the nobodies’ voices
Is what were once called parodies
Are now called valid choices.
Opinions so abhorrent
That no one would speak in person
Are fodder for hysteria,
A fate I fear will worsen.
No civil conversation
Can withstand the hate of distance,
And leaving online life
May be the only sane resistance.
What evidence have I
That things are dire as I claim?
Well, someone unironically
Wrote “Firefly is lame.”
I’m an ugly alien
Stranded in a foreign land,
My family a universe away.
This didn’t turn out like I planned.
Now I labor day and night
To find a way to contact home.
Thanks to the help of local youth
My labors led me to a phone.
A phone, I’ve found, is a device
On which your reputation grows
By means of posting stolen jokes
And NSFW photos.
There are a million methods of
Making heard the things you say.
You can give a one-star Yelp review
But post pics of your meal anyway.
It’s easy to become burned out
By the never-ending social slog,
But if you do, why not recover
By sharing your favorite poetry blog?
I checked Foursquare for where I am.
This “Earth” has left me entertained,
But I must flee in my Uber now
Before humans dissect my brain.
Thanks for all your efforts
To enumerate my clout.
And with that said, ET phones home.
Roflol, XO, Peace out!