God made me a sandwich
And told me not to tell
But that’s my coolest story
So I’ll see all y’all in hell.
Tag Archives: Social Media
Supervillains In The Time Of Social Media
So no one pressed the button
And no one cut the wire
And the number of both tocks and ticks
Is growing ever higher
And I’ve haggled and I’ve cackled
And liked, shared, and commented
But my existential ticking threat
Has in no psyche cemented.
I’m once again tequesting
That you face a villainous choice:
Press the button or cut the wire.
Go on and raise your voice!
That’s all for now my puny foes
And future grimly-oppressed.
Now I’m off to my one-bedroom lair
To scheme and be despressed
Filed under Poems
Tick Tock? Wait… That’s Not Right…
I had an hour this evening
So I watched Youtube for ten minutes.
Now it’s Saturday morning.
Funny how life goes, innit?
Filed under Poems
When You Have A Questionable Job And Media-Literate Coworkers
Today I went back to work
And I had an amazing day
That was absolutely fantastic
In every single way!
I got paid well and my colleagues
Are fine, upstanding folks
And I’m sharing this with you
So I don’t get fired for writing jokes.
Filed under Poems
Social Media
There once was a dancing woman
Wearing as little as legal
Dancing while some AI hip-hop played
Advertising food for her beagle.
A number of bots decided
It was worth watching ten million times.
It’s probably better on TikTok
But hey, my version rhymes!
Filed under Poems
Privatize Social Credit?
Instead of food or clothing
We should donate cameras
To the homeless and the needy
And the reason is because
A stinky guy with bad hair
With the sign: “I’m live on Twitch”
Will get people to donate more…
At least that’s my pitch!
Filed under Poems
Everyone Loves Being Notified Of The Ordinary Life Of Acquaintances
There once was a millennial parent
Who thought it completely apparent
That people online
Wanted to see their kids doing fine
But it turns out those people did caren’t.
Filed under Poems
The Nasty Aftertastes Of Society That Won’t Go Away
I feel like at this point
Most people would agree the
Invention of social media
Was a really bad idea,
While at the same time saying
“We can do nothing about it”
And most of those agree
That they could not live without it.
The same has gone for junk food,
Fancy coffee, cigarettes:
We consume them faster
Than we process our regrets.
I look forward to the day
When we look at that list
And add the important footnote
That governments shouldn’t exist.
Filed under Poems
How To Get Six-Pack Abs In Five Days (Or Something)
When one has blogged as much as I
One comes to realize
A lot of the view’s one’s blog receives
Come not from human eyes
But from advertising robots
That search for stuff that’s trending
Like Biden, Bitcoin, Keto, Xbox,
And how the world is ending.
Make this go viral… I dare you : )
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 