When I hear the word
“Instagram” I always think
“These damn kids today…”
Tag Archives: Social Media
Keep On Writing
Remember when we wrote things
For other folks to read
That answered all their questions
Or satisfied a need?
And sometimes we would write things
To create a laugh or smile,
To push you through a challenge
And inspire you through a trial.
Now we write for metrics
Like “likes” and “views” and “shares”
And instead of smiles and laughter
We get 100-mile stares.
But if we write the things we like
And refuse to drink
That vile-flavored Kool-Aid
Called “What other people think”
Perhaps we’ll crack a smile
Or persevere ourselves
Until we write a something
That can decorate your shelves.
And Then The Lord Did Unfriend Me
God made me a sandwich
And told me not to tell
But that’s my coolest story
So I’ll see all y’all in hell.
Filed under Poems
Supervillains In The Time Of Social Media
So no one pressed the button
And no one cut the wire
And the number of both tocks and ticks
Is growing ever higher
And I’ve haggled and I’ve cackled
And liked, shared, and commented
But my existential ticking threat
Has in no psyche cemented.
I’m once again tequesting
That you face a villainous choice:
Press the button or cut the wire.
Go on and raise your voice!
That’s all for now my puny foes
And future grimly-oppressed.
Now I’m off to my one-bedroom lair
To scheme and be despressed
Filed under Poems
Tick Tock? Wait… That’s Not Right…
I had an hour this evening
So I watched Youtube for ten minutes.
Now it’s Saturday morning.
Funny how life goes, innit?
Filed under Poems
When You Have A Questionable Job And Media-Literate Coworkers
Today I went back to work
And I had an amazing day
That was absolutely fantastic
In every single way!
I got paid well and my colleagues
Are fine, upstanding folks
And I’m sharing this with you
So I don’t get fired for writing jokes.
Filed under Poems
Social Media
There once was a dancing woman
Wearing as little as legal
Dancing while some AI hip-hop played
Advertising food for her beagle.
A number of bots decided
It was worth watching ten million times.
It’s probably better on TikTok
But hey, my version rhymes!
Filed under Poems
Privatize Social Credit?
Instead of food or clothing
We should donate cameras
To the homeless and the needy
And the reason is because
A stinky guy with bad hair
With the sign: “I’m live on Twitch”
Will get people to donate more…
At least that’s my pitch!
Filed under Poems
Everyone Loves Being Notified Of The Ordinary Life Of Acquaintances
There once was a millennial parent
Who thought it completely apparent
That people online
Wanted to see their kids doing fine
But it turns out those people did caren’t.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 