There once was a good-looking chap
Who spilled juice on a movie star’s lap.
They would, then they wouldn’t,
They could but they couldn’t,
And, my goodness, their acting was crap.
Tag Archives: Silly
Location Is Everything
Shelly sells seashells at the seashore.
Nobody quite knows what she does this for.
No one buys the shells she sells, so I am pondering
If Shelly’s shells are a shell business for money laundering.
Filed under Poems
Golfing
One under is a birdie.
An even score is par.
One over is a bogey.
What I got is a Zanzibar.
Filed under Poems
Indian Fireworks Vs. The Legal Crap
Fireworks and fireworks!
Kazam! Kazee! Badoo!
One flies up and lights the sky;
It makes me think of you.
Fireworks and fireworks
Far as the eye can see!
One flies up and fizzles;
It makes you think of me.
Filed under Poems
Buffy Is Moving To Europe
Do vampires get uncomfortable
When writing a lowercase “t”?
When they order at a restaurant
Do they request their water unholy?
Do they avoid places that eat lots of garlic
And even avoid such a smell?
Because my conclusions lead me to believe
Italy is just vampire hell.
Filed under Poems
Buffy Is Moving To Europe
Do vampires get uncomfortable
When writing the letter “t”?
When they order at a restaurant
Do they request their water unholy?
Do they avoid places that eat lots of garlic
And even avoid such a smell?
Because my conclusions lead me to believe
Italy is just vampire hell.
Filed under Poems
I’ve Solved Crime!
Instead of putting folks in jail
Then releasing them later
What if we dressed criminals
So they looked like Darth Vader,
Make them wear black armor
And fill rooms with smoke
And whenever they breath
Make it sound like a choke?
That way when you’re walking
Down a poorly-lit street
You’d know if that stranger
You happened to meet
Is an innocent traveler
Who needs help with a tire
Or a half-robot mugger
Who’s also a liar.
Filed under Poems
They Weren’t Laughing… But There Were Other Signs
If anyone here is deaf
I have an important question:
Do I start jokes with “Have you heard the one about…”
Or do you have a better suggestion?
Filed under Poems
Follow For More Post-Apocalyptic Recipes
The sky has fallen
The sea has boiled
The Earth has shaken
The contingency’s foiled
The zombies prowl
But I’m okay:
Whipped cream goes “psshhhh”
And they can’t take that away
Filed under Poems
Wait… Did The French Just Surrender To Tourists?
So the Louvre closed its doors today
Which is how Mona Lisa would say
“Je ne t’aime pas
“Alors au revoir.”
(And yes, those do rhyme by the way)
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 