Their once was an organized crime
Who fixed football games all the time.
Then a female singer
Put the crooks through the wringer
And black Tom Brady won with a dime.
Tag Archives: Superbowl
My Superbowl Thoughts
On the one hand, I’m disappointed.
On the other hand, I am ok
That I don’t have to spend my whole afternoon
Watching both teams I hate get to play.
Filed under Poems
How To Write A Superbowl Ad
You start out with a robot
That’s been made with CGI
Who says one beer is best
With no compelling reason why.
Next you strip the advertisement
Of anything resembling humor
So you don’t provoke the many
With an “I’m Offended” tumor.
Then say “We love social justice
“So you should buy our calamari”
With the sincerity of a five-year-old
When they’re forced to say “I’m sorry.”
The result’s an advertisement
To appeal to a mob
That hates all corporations
But still needs them for their job.
I hope next year’s Sportsball expo
Doesn’t try to be so “woke”
And the 2020 vegans
Are prepared to take a joke.
Filed under Poems
My Superbowl Ad
If this poem were a commercial
Worth four million dollars
It would be filled with puppies
Running free without collars,
Their tongues in fluid motion
Lapping up a river of beer
As a celebrity drives an empty road
While shedding a single tear.
A song would fill the background,
Upbeat, with finger snaps
Sung by a choir homeless children
Wearing “Panthers 2016” caps.
It would have repeated dialogue.
It would have a big impact.
It would be better than what we actually saw,
And that would be a fact.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 