‘Tis a sad occasion
To break a pact,
Especially by
Forgetting to act.
And so I have
Avoided great sorrow
By writing today’s poem
Before tomorrow.
Category Archives: Poems
A 6:00 PM Poem
Filed under Poems
Romantus Lycanthropus (Thatus is Latinus)
Yellow teeth
And orange eyes
Shine like fire
Under the full moon.
I try to smile,
Tell some lies,
But all I can say is
“Hey honey. Back so soon?”
My lover plods forwards
With wolfish eyes fixed
On the little pink pocket
At the base of my neck.
I know what I must do.
My feelings aren’t mixed.
It’s her time of the month,
And out I must get the heck.
Filed under Poems
My Ex-Darling’s Riddle
“Let’s hear your riddle,”
I told my dear one.
“It’s been around
Since year one.
“It’s got no spine,
No heart, No brain.
It’s loved in France,
But seldom Spain.”
What do you mean
It’s the letter Q?
I thought the answer
Was you!
Filed under Poems
Alaska
I walk among
the snowy trees
Enveloped by
a chilling breeze.
I see a moose
among the arbors
And wonder what
secrets it harbors.
I brush my hand
against the branches
And remember a war
fought in the tranches.
The bullets flew,
The blood rained red
‘Til everyone but me
Was dead.
So I look at the moose
Who’ll never fight
A war he don’t
Believe is right.
I envy him,
The big dumb deer,
And I know I’ll live
My life out here,
Never alone
Among the trees.
I’ll always have
The memories.
Filed under Poems
Say Yes to Rejection
The mountains stood
Like great cones of earth
Sticking up out of the ground
While little blue birds
Flew in circles above,
Around and around and around.
I walk on the trail
Between these great peaks
Place my feet where the ground is flat.
And the birds are so blue
Like sapphires on a crown,
Precious stones in a round metal hat.
As I sing to the breeze
Like the wind to the trees,
Moving air melodiously,
And I think of the woman
Who told me “Take a Hike.”
Didn’t know that she’ll show dis to me.
I did get a life
And next time I see ‘er
We’ll take a long walk together
Off a short pier.
Filed under Poems
Monopolizing Love: 3 Poems
Our love is like board walk
With a hotel.
It’s great if you have it,
But expensive as hell.
Our love is like park place.
It’s worth it to invest,
But we can’t help but feel
It’s only second best.
Our love happened purely by chance,
And I thought that was all for the best.
Then I heard about your four-house reputation
And your nickname, “Community Chest.”
Filed under Poems
On Marriage
What is a wedding
But an exchanging of rings
Between two willing people
Who are scared of different things?
Filed under Poems
Excuses: Plane and Simple
Hello officer.
Beautiful day!
Wouldn’t you like
To put the pad away?
I know I was speeding,
But I can explain.
See, this car I’m driving
Began as a plane.
I was flying a mission
Over Afghanistan.
I was low on gas, thinking
“I gotta land dis, man.”
So I steered for my base
And managed to crash land
A few miles from here
On some beautiful grashland.
I didn’t want to get spotted
By the enemy, so
I disguised my busted plane
As this beat-up GTO.
But the engine runs fine
At three hundred per hour,
And for a car this size
That’s just too much power.
So please, officer
Cut this soldier some slack.
I’m far from my base
Just trying to get back.
Filed under Poems
Try Everything Once
Unlike you
And unlike me
I know no whales
Who like to ski.
So don’t be whalish.
Be open minded
And lots of fun
Is what you’ll have finded.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
