There was a teenager from Kiev
That people oft told how to liev.
He painted a plate
As blank as a slate
With all the shits he didn’t giev.
Naked Prom
Gyration of the eyes and hips,
The longing of a thousand lips,
A table full of pop and chips,
And me there in the corner.
Five-hundred pairs of dancing shoes,
A playlist full of swing and blues,
And I’m in naught but tennis shoes
For lack of an adorner.
A dozen spinning disco lights,
Glow rods in their flinging flights,
Cast shadows o’er my lack of tights.
I pray I’m not discovered.
A shrieking piercing through my head!
I feel like I’m made of lead,
As I awaken in my bed
Where, yes, I am uncovered.
Filed under Poems
May 25th
Sixty-one candles,
Two and a half beards
Celebrating your many,
Many, many, many years.
I wrote these stanzas
To know that you smiled.
Happy Birthday Mom
From your second-best child.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Game of War?
I’ll pay ten dollars
For a movie ticket,
Five bucks to see
A game of cricket,
A hundred to Scuba
And get the bends.
Why won’t I pay three
To have no ads on Words with Friends?
Father of the Bride
Fluff and foof,
Foam and poof.
Through the roof:
Shopping.
White or gray?
Peach or Monet?
Pay and pay:
Shopping.
We’ve got a year
To pick the dress
We’ve seen the glory
And the mess.
Dad’s in the car
Waiting for the yes
That brings the end
Of shopping.
Filed under Poems
Pop Songs 2
Dedicated to the memory of the first “Pop Songs.”
thedailytravesty.com/2012/06/20/popsongs/
Tonight
I’m gonna love lovin’ you
Tonight
You’re gonna be my first true
You betcha, I’m gonna getcha
Baby, Oh oh!
Tonight
We’re goin’ downtown, babe.
Tonight
Gonna meet with my cousin, Gabe.
I’m in the mood, you’re looking good.
Gabe-y, oh oh!
Baby
Oh yeah
Oo-ooh
Oo-Oo
Baby
Shing-a-ling-a-ding
Tonight.
Tonight
We’re gonna strum three chords.
Tonight
We’re gonna calve like fjords.
I’ll be your Malfoy if you’ll be my Goyle.
Crabbe-y, oh oh!
Tonight
I’m gonna write you a rhyme.
Tonight
We’ll have our Rosemary thyme.
Was I inspired when this song was sired?
Maybe, oh oh!
Baby
Oh yeah
Oo-ooh
Oo-Oo
Baby
Humma-humma-strumma-strumma
This song just gets dumma ‘n dumma
Parsley and sage can’t express my rage!
Looking around
For words that end with the same sound!
Mispronounced Harry Potter villains
Interferin’ with our chillin’s.
Shing-a-ling-a-ding
(Dramatic pause)
Tonight.
Filed under Uncategorized
Identity Crisis
I woke up at 5:00.
Went for a two mile run.
What is wrong with me?
Filed under Poems
The Guy in 23E
I couldn’t decide
On which cologne
I should wear on the plane.
I tried the first,
And then the next,
And then the first again.
I spritzed and whiffed
But never found
A scent that suited me,
So I tried them all.
Which one works best?
We’ll have to wait and see.
Filed under Poems
Columbus
Longitude and latitude
Give me a nasty attitude.
Forget the maps to India.
Let’s just with the wind, ya?
Filed under Poems
Perception of Eternity
Time is not eternal:
It will someday go away,
And we’ll be left in timelessness
For eternity to stay.
Time is not eternal:
We’ve only got today,
But luckily we have meetings
To make it feel that way.
Filed under Poems
