Tag Archives: Friends

[Insert That One Guy Here]

His heart was as big as a pop-up ad

On a movie you watch on your phone.

His mind was as big as the X in the corner

That tells it to leave you alone.

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When Friends Need To Vent

If you feel empty inside

Just take away the “E”

And you can feel mpty instead.

Or, alternatively

Take away the “Y”

And feel emp-t (and misled).

If you take away

The “E,” “P,” and “Y”

You feel mt, and that’s fine.

But if you say nothing

Your words won’t be empty

And we won’t have to hear you whine.

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Stallion Of The Sea!

A mermaid’s on my back

And another is in my jaws.

One appreciates my service

And the other sees my flaws.

My coat is warm and fluffy

And made of tiny molars.

I’m a great white horseshark

And my virtues have many extollers.

My mane is made of dreams

And my tail’s made of kelp

And if you could speak underwater

My presence would make you call for help.

I can smell blood from miles away.

I can run and jump and swim

But you prefer me to your boyfriend

‘Cause I understand you better than him.

Let’s go for a ride

And munch on a whale.

Who needs horseshoes

Or a boat to sail?

Yes, we can be friends,

Omnivorous kin.

But if you hate me I don’t mind.

I’ve got very thick skin.

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Inner City Nursery Rhymes

“Red umbrella on a bench

Next to homeless guy with stench.

Kinda wrinkly, slightly damp

Are both umbrella and the tramp.

They’ve been friends since ’98

When he bought it, as if by fate.

Together they’ve been through a lot.

They’ve weathered storms, bickered, and fought.

The hobo and umbrella pair

Possess a sense of laissez-faire.

It seems for them that things look up

As they count coins in their half-full cup.

Then they lynch a passerby;

Umbrella stabs him in the eye.”

This is why you should always look

Before you buy a children’s book!

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You’ve Got A Friend?

When I’m in your presence

I’m not sure how I feel,

Like my body’s made of clouds,

Like I’m not even real.

When other folks look my way

It’s like they see right through me,

But I know when I meet your eyes

I’m all you want to see.

I may doubt my own existence

And you do too, maybe,

But know whatever happens

You’ve got an imaginary friend in me.

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Now That’s Friendship!

If you like to stay at home

Though you’ve got nothing to do,

You’re thrilled when an appointment

Gets canceled out of the blue,

If reading makes you happy

And parties make you pout

Then you and I should be best friends

And never once hang out.

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Game of War?

I’ll pay ten dollars

For a movie ticket,

Five bucks to see

A game of cricket,

A hundred to Scuba

And get the bends.

Why won’t I pay three

To have no ads on Words with Friends?

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