Tag Archives: Driving

World Peace, Step One

I saw a guy driving today

Who had a sign in their back window:

“Please stay back,

“New stick shift driver.”

I’m putting that in the back window

Of every car I buy

From this day forward.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

#LookBothWays

I saw the golden headlights

Driving towards me in the rain.

I heard the tires squealing

And the brake lines shout of pain.

I smelled the burning rubber

And sensed the car careening

As I changed my Facebook status

So my life could have some meaning.

1 Comment

Filed under Poems

Barely Illegal

Going twenty-eight in a twenty zone

While casting glances at his phone

With his lap belt fastened but not his shoulder

And an open bottle of water in the holder.

He drove on through a yellow light.

He flashed no signal but still turned right.

He’s of a group of scofflaws such

Who’ll break the law, but not by much.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Disaster in Orange Grove, AKA The Justified Swerve

Two 18-wheelers,

Thirteen sedans,

Four snow-white horses,

And a biker named Hans:

That was the death toll

Today in Orange Grove

When I noticed a spider

On my leg as I drove.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

But I mean Well

I’m the type of friend

That gets called at 3:00 AM

By a buddy in a ditch

Needing someone to help them.

I’m the type of friend

Who will drive a hundred miles

At 90 miles an hour

To see tears turn into smiles.

I’m the type of friend

Who hits pedestrians

Because I do not sleep.

Yep, I’m that type of friend.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Driving Home

Today I returned home from my vacation in Portland, OR. The following are a few poems I thought of over the six hour drive when I should have been avoiding pedestrians:


Feel free to tailgate my ass,

But the more you press, the less I gas.

The sooner I’m back

In Oregon

The sooner your drivers

I can deplore again.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Today I returned home from my vacation in Portland, OR. The following are a few poems I thought of over the six hour drive when I should have been avoiding pedestrians:


Feel free to tailgate my ass,

But the more you press, the less I gas.

The sooner I’m back

In Oregon

The sooner your drivers

I can deplore again.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Driver’s Ed Dropouts

Saw down a tree.
Chop it down with an ax.
Burn it, chainsaw it,
Send it anthrax.

There are lots of good ways
To get rid of a tree,
But hitting it with your car
Doesn’t sound smart to me.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Hit the Road

Her eyes were like headlights
Aglow in the rain.
Her lips were white lines
Guiding me into her lane.
Her body was the horizon
Towards which I would steer,
And her words said to me
“There’s no speed limit here.”

I pulled up beside her
And hoped I looked good,
Intending, I confess,
To get under her hood.
I subtly honked
As I pulled up beside her.
“What’s your name, darling?”
Then someone walked up beside her.

“She is Alexis,”
The newcomer smiled
In that very free way
That was driving me wild.
“And I’m her twin sister,
And my name is Portia.
We’d like to leave town,
But we don’t want to force ya’.”

And so we departed
From that little town,
Just me and two ladies
With the windows rolled down.
Some days you blow out,
Things don’t go like they should.
Other days, like today,
Life’s pretty darn good.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems