Tag Archives: Catholic

November 15, 2024 · 7:39 pm

See Also: Halo

If your Catholic parents are angry

That you play video games

Just tell them you’re playing “Mass Effect”

Then you can be the one who blames.

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April 18, 2024 · 8:13 pm

Pope Or Pookums… Choose Wisely

When old ladies are lonely

And they need some warmth and love

They have a pair of choices:

They can seek help from above

Or they can buy a bunch of cats.

Whichever one they pick

Usually results in them

Becoming a catholic.

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September 5, 2018 · 8:39 pm

New Data Indicates Many Catholics Don’t Enjoy Limericks

I think if I were a nun

I’d want to carry a gun

‘Cause I wouldn’t enjoy

Being mistook for a boy

When the priest says he wants to “have fun.”

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August 11, 2017 · 9:37 am

Catholicism Admits Defeat… But They’ll Be Back!

Father Paul, I write to you

Regarding brother Kyle.

He has not been remade anew

So likely you won’t smile:

His dog still fits his Gucci purse,

His favorite color’s aubergine,

His dream’s to be a male nurse,

And all his sentences end with “you know what I mean?”

His moisturizer smells like plum

And adds to his feng shui.

Of this I’m fairly certain:

We didn’t pray the gay away. 

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