Tag Archives: Rhymes

Any Time An “…Uck” Word Falls Into The Rhyme Scheme

I wanted to play hockey

And be like a Canuck.

I settled for air hockey

But I didn’t have a puck.

A lot of you tuned out of the story

Because the last rhyme might be (from the record struck)

And for those of you who think that

Too bad! You’re out of luck.

(Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk)


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When You Think “That Would Rhyme Well,” Realize You Were Wrong, And Don’t Fix It

There once was a man named Jared Russ

Who was fond of munching canned asparagus.

He ate it all the time

But for lack of a rhyme

Often said things were Ceteris Parabus.

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Dr. Seuss Beware!

There was a skunk named Dink

Who didn’t stink,

Which, at least for Dink, stank.

He played at skunk school

But smelled really cool

And thus his social standing sank.

They flunked the poor skunk

And he packed up his trunk.

He greatly disliked the school’s thinking,

But he too understood

Skunks can’t be what they should

If said skunks stunk like Dink did at stinking.

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But What Does Salt Smell Like Anyway?

I danced a sappy sort of waltz-

The type that’s rife with lots of schmaltz.

The I passed out, demonstrating my faults.

That’s why I’m grateful for smellingsalts.

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That’s Why Babies Look Funny When They Learn To Walk!

If life were like a video game

I think it quickly would get lame

‘Cause everyone would act the same

And people would compete for fame

And money and stuff you’d seek to claim

And maybe you’d love a token dame.

Your repeated failures might cause shame

And you’d be worthy of others’s blame.

You’ll find comfort in a pet to tame

And maybe give it a funny name

Like Blooper, Tweazle, Grumps, or Zame…

Holy crap! Life’s just like a video game!

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If I Were A Duck

I think poetic ducks

Have a fondness for fresh cumin

Since that enables many jokes

Of mallards shouting “human!”

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This Is Not Tomorrow’s Poem

Pretty much everything
Goes well most of the time,
But every now and then
One can’t think of a rhyme.

I’d written the first couplet,
But not the one that followed it.
‘Twas on the tip of my tongue,
But, alas, I think I swallowed it.

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