If you ever give me a puppy
I want you to name it “Trollop”
So I can shout “Trollop”
At the top of my lungs in the park
And not go to prison.
Tag Archives: Excuses
I Can’t, On Account Of My Poor Constitution And Admirable Apathy
Just a few hours
Since last I wrote verse
My health and comfort
Have grown ever worse.
I’m caughing and wheezing,
Congested and achy,
Borderline antisocial
And across-the-line flaky.
But I find in this state
Of poor manners and health
I’ve gained more than money…
A much grander wealth:
The fortune and glory
My sickness imposed
Was not giving a shit.
It’s better than I’d supposed.
Filed under Poems
Good Riddance
Let the record show
I really didn’t know
That an iceberg could do damage
Like that iceberg did.
Don’t think I didn’t care
That a floating bit was there,
Begging for some rammage
With nine-tenths of its body hid.
Let the record indicate
That good-old-me, the captain’s mate,
Gave warning to the skipper,
But he did merely scoff.
Then the captain broke the ship
And so he went out for a dip.
He was a lousy tipper,
So in the end, we’re better off.
Filed under Poems
