“Would you like to sit at the table”
My mother asked, her voice sour.
“I’m good” I replied, my voice filled with pride
As I stared down at her from my tower.
Tag Archives: Happiness
My Foreign Policy Platform
I think instead of buying tanks
We should hire children
To run around with pool noodles
And speak in Italian to people
Who are unhappy
Because America deserves happiness
And we have to spend $33 trillion on something.
Filed under Poems
Lessons in Fine Dining
Life’s like an Oreo cookie:
The start and the end are both crappy
But the more stuff you put in the middle
The more likely you are to be happy!
Filed under Poems
On The Bright Side, My Nickname Is “Hips” Now
Sometimes all it takes
To make somebody’s day
Is to flash a cheerful smile
And whisper “Hip hip hooray!”
I tried it out this afternoon
And the data that I got was this:
Prison is not a good place to test
A cheerfulness hypothesis.
Filed under Poems
Privacy Would Be Preferred Tonight
There once was a Valentine’s Day
When I wasn’t alone (it’s today)
But I lacked the foresight
To post a poem before tonight
So here you go. Now go away!
Filed under Poems
You Turn My Struggles Into Snuggles
Fuzzy blanket, blue as the sky,
Upon the couch on which I lie,
You’re soft and warm upon my skin
And where you end does the world begin,
And so I huddle ‘neath your sheet
To keep the warmth and trap the heat
Until the dawn, so cruel and bright,
Will slay the peaceful starry night.
Fuzzy blanket from Bass Pro Shops,
You’re where my imaginary foe stops,.
My bastion from a lukewarm room,
You cast away the stagnant gloom.
Eight feet long and six feet wide
You hold me tight, wrap me inside.
All I love more than your pale blue
Is that you’re big enough for two.
Filed under Poems
Ode To A Fireplace
Fire, fire, in the place,
Chase the cold from limbs and face,
Make my body warm, and keep
My mind at ease so I may sleep.
Do not from the hearth go venture
Or your name I’ll surely censure
As I, with woe, seek to smother
You, the fire I once did mother,
For if you wander to and fro
Up in you my house will go
And I will be unhoused and blue
Because, dear fire, of the antics of you.
Thus I, my fiery friend, entreat:
Don’t aspire to more than heat
A home. Restrain your conflagration
And we’ll share a heartfelt celebration.
Filed under Poems
She Said Yes!
There once was a poet who asked
“Girlfriend, with marrying me will you be tasked?”
She said “Yes, ‘cause you’re weird
“And have a sexy beard.”
Then in congratulations we basked.
Filed under Poems
October
Giant peaks of scarlet leaves
Mixed with auburn, amber, gold
Summoning the child within
To leap in, safe from autumns’s cold.
Into the fallen leaves in hues
Of flame and fortune children fly
And gentle wind, October’s whisper,
Seays so gently from the sky.
Hours after laughter leaves
The leaves themselves, scattered, wild,
Echo of the past adventures
Of literal and inner child.
Pumpkin pie and jokes await
‘Til snow fulfills poor Autumn’s fate.
Filed under Poems
Man’s Real Best Friend
Everyone needs a big fluffy blanket
That smiles when you hug it or throw it or yank it;
It can soothe pain and dry off your tears
And it does so for free over hundreds of years.
When Summer is hot and you lie on the grass
It holds all your food and keeps bugs off your ass.
When Winter is cold and the sky is all gray
The blanket will escort the darkness away.
A blanket can act as a robe in a bind
And a tangle of blankets can help you unwind.
Yes, everyone needs a big fluffy blanket
So next time you see one, remember to thank it.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 