A description of a setting
The lonely artist loves.
Introduce the poem’s subject
Rhyming with the line aboves.
Introduce a conflict,
But done with exquisite taste,
Then end it with a poignant line
And highlight, copy, paste.
Tag Archives: Humor
Poetry for Dummies
Filed under Poems
Just a Thot
I sigh at silent letters,
‘Cause they seem unnecessary,
Though I imagine it’s even more rough
If your name is Ptolemy.
Filed under Poems
Bathroom Humor
There’s a couch in the girl’s room
And hot towels for the guys.
They ladies have to line up,
Men need to watch for urinal spies.
The ladies room is ten feet long,
The mens is ten feet wide,
So I guess that the porcelain
Is always whiter on the other side.
Easter Musings from a Heathen
Good morning Meesis
And good morning Meester,
And good morning meez for the feminists,
And Happy Easter!
It’s a day we celebrate
Jesus’s resurrection
With oviparous rabbits
And a sugar injection.
So hunt for those eggs
And hunt for that profit
And remember the Lord,
Our savior and prophet
And offer a prayer
For that great plastic hen
Who’s had her eggs stolen
Over and over again.
Filed under Poems
Crime and Optimism
I was a thief
In ancient times
When the punishments
Fit the crimes.
I finally was caught
Making ransom demands
And a guy with an ax
Chopped off my hands.
It hurt in the moment,
And my stumps were quite sore,
But I don’t have to worry
About caught red-handed anymore.
Even better than that
Was going to my patents’s place
And saying “look ma, no hands!”
Ah, the look on her face.
Filed under Poems
In Anticipation of Graduation
Treatises, essays,
And the plural of syllabus.
These are things
I am not gonna miss,
But to be totally honest
I’ll miss walking to classes
Behind those yoga pants girls
With their beautiful… chassis.
Filed under Poems
Overheard at Bring Your Dad to School Day
I’m not just a logger;
I’m a matchmaker for trees.
See, how life goes for them
Is one arbor sees
The love of their life
Just a few feet away,
And they spend their time loving
Each other all day.
After a while
What these trees want so much
Is to lean over a little
And let their bodies touch,
So I whop out my chainsaw
And bring that love to fruition.
It makes me feel good
And it pays her tuition.
Filed under Poems
Re-Deeming Qualities
Oft was Bob deemed
A fellow quite proper
‘Til the day he was stopped
By a motorcycle copper
Who issued of a ticket
Worth two hundred and four
For speeding. Now Bob
Is deemed proper no more.
Filed under Poems
American RPGs
I’d only just been conceived
When, as an adult, I found
I was in a prison, filled with rats
So deep and underground.
I was modestly unclothed,
Armed with club and knife,
And destined by narrative necessity
To live an extraordinary life.
The rats were slain,
I leveled up,
Taking my first sip
Of combat’s cup,
And the rest, they say
Is history.
So it is in every
RPG.
Filed under Poems
