Which one pays you more:
PhD or MBA?
Forklift certified.
Tag Archives: Jobs
Why Don’t YouWant To Grow Up And Get A Job?
Bob works on an oil rig
And thinks it’s a real nice gig
Despite the never being warm,
Likelihood of death, and unending storm.
Jane sell pictures of her feet
And also thinks it’s real neat.
She’s richer than Bob, but feels depressed
Because she’s historically oppressed.
Meanwhile, Greg’s a CEO.
What does he do? How should I know?
But I know he lives much like a royal
With abundant feet pics and plenty of oil.
Filed under Poems
Job Hunting
To get a job in the CIA
You just show up one day
And if nobody catches you
You’re a spy! That sounds okay…
But getting a job in the TSA
Is not so cut and dry
Because if you show up at all
Your boss will wonder why.
Filed under Poems
Chief Energizer Officer Sought For Fast-Paced Executive Opportunity
We’re hiring for a guinea pig
To work for forty hours
Making coffee for the mucky-mucks
With offices in towers.
The role pays $20k a year
So let’s post the job. Maybe
We’ll say that it pays 50k
And needs a master’s degree!
Filed under Poems
Luckily My Bills Only Go Up 10 Percent A Year
When you read a job application
And ask what the position pays
And the interviewer says “It’s minimum wage
“But each year there’s a 3-percent raise!”
Filed under Poems
Still Better Than Poetry
I applied for a new job today
With better benefits and pay.
It’s that eel that pops out
From a rock, looks about,
And goes back inside 10,000 times a day.
Filed under Poems
Limerick for a Job Interview
There once was a gap in a resumé
That occurred when the candidate was away
‘Cause when you’ve had enough crap
Turns out a resumé gap
Can be just what you need. Okay?
Filed under Poems
The Other Opening Was For “End Of Days Rituals Inc.
I got a job at the olive oil factory
And my coworker is a nun.
Now they can write “Extra Virgin” again
‘Cause for a while they just had one.
Filed under Poems
Moving Up In The World
He’s standing on the sidewalk
Dancing with a sign
Because the company on the corner
Wants more people to be buyin’.
He’s singing to the hip-hop song
That only he can hear
Until his phone says 5:00 O’clock
And he can disappear.
His spirit’s probably broken
And he really has to pee,
But at least he makes more money
Than I do with poetry.
Filed under Poems
I’m Not One Of The Sheep… I’m Just The Pasture
You know those tests they give you
That tell your dream career?
There’s been an innovation
In those tests, or so I hear.
They’ve found 80 percent or more
Of testers’ perfect jobs
Are members of unthinking
And mostly peaceful violent mobs.
I didn’t think about it much
When first I heard the news,
But when I took the test myself
I had to change my views.
I scored, not as a rioter,
But a guy who owns a store
That sells lightweight TVs and food
In downtown Baltimore.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 