Tag Archives: Likes

There’s Someone For Everybody

I want you

Like vegan bacon,

Like rain on my birthday,

Like my car being towed.

I want you

Like an unreleased kraken,

Like a giant pet termite

Or a poisonous toad.

I want you

Like an IRS audit,

Like Buffy wanted

A vampire to slay.

Some might hate this poem

But I know you applaud it.

My wants may be wonky

But you like it that way.


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Chess: The Other Perspective

I like carmel. I like salt.

I like things that aren’t my fault.

I like chickens, ducks, and geese.

Star Wars rules. So does John Cleese.

I like monkeys, apes and such.

I like girls a bit too much.

What I don’t like is being made of wood

And shaped into a pawn. That just ain’t good.

I live a life of constant war.

In the middle I die, but the sides are a bore.

I don’t have films or birds or caramel

And, surrounded by pieces, I feel abnarmel

And that’s not all! In my whole world

There only is a single girl

Who’s married to my weak-ass boss

Who me into the fray does toss.

We are the lonely pawns, the guards,

And we hope one day you’ll decide to play cards.


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Match.com Self-Summary

Some men are boob guys.

Some like hair and eyes.

Some seek butts from all across the globe.

Some go nuts for feet,

But what I think’s neat

Is a lady with some really nice earlobes.

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Follow Your Heart

I heard that when uncertainty

About your future strikes

Examining what you avoid

Can lead you to your likes.

I tend to avoid everything

And like lying in bed

Writing jokes about the stuff

That’s running through my head.

I tend to avoid washing things,

Dishes and self included,

And consequently feel good

When I eat (get watered and fooded).

I like to be alone a lot.

I like the color orange.

I dislike thinking ahead

Which sometimes makes life hardyorange.

And so I have concluded

From my lifestyle and refinement

That I should pursue a career

In solitary confinement.

So if someone were so kind

As to frame me for a murder

I’d be grateful for all my life

And happy with my life’s direction-urder.

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