Tag Archives: Metaphor

…Ya Know?

Chevy is the At&T of cars.

Polos are the Taylor Swift of shirts.

Venus is the Uranus of Mars.

Shorts are the frozen waffles of skirts.

Mondays are the Youtube ads of time.

The Bachelor is the store-brand Cheerios of salt.

Chihuahuas are the poet’s salary of crime.

If you don’t get these metaphors that’s not my fault.

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A Simile Of Children And Pearls

You are the granule of dirt

In the heart of my oyster,

Ever growing and causing irritation.

That pain will soon end

And you will be a pearl,

Strung together with others of your kind

And hung on women’s necks

To make them look richer than they really are.

Maybe you will become the keys

On a fancy musical instrument,

But that is statistically unlikely.

Somewhere the metaphor got lost,

But alas! You won’t follow suit.

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It’s A Metaphor For The Debate, Just FYI

Imagine a beach, sunny and warm.

The air is still, the tide is low.

A sandcastle and a tumbleweed

Wait for when the wind will blow

For with the wind come mighty waves

And so the castle foretells its fall.

The tumbleweed senses the moment when

The winds will answer its lazy call.

A bit of dirt dressed nobly

Collapses as the breezes rise.

A pointless weed will dance with joy

Among the currents of the sky.

A dirty house, an unrooted plant

So come together, sand and weeds:

They may not be what America wants

But the CPD says they’re what America needs.

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Life is cosmic Costco,
And we’re waiting in a line
To buy experiences on sale
And prepare for when we dine.

We nibble on the samples
And buy what we bought before.
Thus ends this slightly cynical
Wholesale metaphor.

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