There once were the Seahawks on Monday
And we hoped it would end a fun day,
But the offense was off
And perfect was Goff…
At least it’s the Giants on Sunday!
Tag Archives: NFL
Week 1
Our beloved Seahawks from Seattle
Began yet another sports battle.
They sucked for a while
But left with a smile
‘Cause the Broncos looked more like the Cattle.
Filed under Poems
America’s Sport Is Back! (In Brazil?)
‘Twas the night before football
And men everywhere
Were preparing their lineups
And floofing their chair.
Elsewhere in the house
Was a wife, not yet hiding,
But seeking out places
For comfy abiding,
Retreats where she’ll spend
The next 17 Sundays
Avoiding the shouts.
(Wait, they also play Mondays?)
The refs have made final
The script for the season
Including some muscles
To tear without reason.
Now all of us sigh
As we drift off to bed
Hoping this year the Chiefs
Will get bonked in the head.
Filed under Poems
New Faces, Same 4th Quarter Meltdowns
The Seahawks were back on the field
With a brand new head coach that we wield.
This is so nee and awesome!
Wait? Our D’s still a possum?
And yep, seems our fate is still sealed.
Filed under Poems
F***ing Chiefs Again? Really? Even Hollywood Is More Creative…
There once was a high football tier
That played Winter and Fall every year.
One day a guy tripped
But it wasn’t in the script
But the refs smiled and said “Hold my beer.”
Filed under Poems
“Hey Guys! What If We Hijack The Playoffs And Pretend It’s A Cool Innovation Instead Of A Paywall? I Bet Nobody Will Cancel Their Subscription The Day After.” -Some Peacock Exec, Probably
There once was a streaming station
Who aired a playoff game to the nation.
The broadcast was bad
And no one will be sad
If the ratings show as “Devastation.”
Filed under Poems
Seahawks Fans Right Now
There once was a team called the Bears
Who thrust my clan into despairs.
They sucked at a sport,
But so do my cohort
So at the end of the day, who cares?
Filed under Poems
Seriously Seattle?
There once was a Seattle bird team
Who fought a sports battle upstream.
Alas, the sheep rallied
While the birds dilly-dallied
And now they’re an NFL meme.
Filed under Poems
Still Better Than The Cardinals
There once was a team from New York
That played like a twelve-week-old pork.
They signed Aaron Rodgers
But that poor old codger’s
Injured now, and they ask “What the fork?”
Filed under Poems
‘Merica Loves The Draft
Today’s the day that giant men
Who some describe as “ballers”
Get called by teams of athletes
To play games for millions of dollars
And older guys who used to play
And that one blonde chick enumerate
The reason why that particular guy
Will make their newfound team great.
Meanwhile, men who’re five-foot-two
But also weigh 300 pounds
Sit in bars and pound their chests
And buy each other rounds.
And somehow through the fog
Of testosterone and concealed erections
This moment matters more to most
Than national elections.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 