I do not idolize
Celebrities who sing,
Who make emotions at a camera
Or hold a bat and swing.
I don’t talk about religion,
Politics or TV,
Or the theory of evolution
(Unless it’s in the context of eevee).
You might think me quiet,
And most often you’re spot on,
But bring up something interesting
And I’ll go on and on.
So if you want to know what’s new,
Do not ask me “how are you?”
Filed under Poems
Three short poems in a row
May feel a bit like cheating
Today’s this poet’s birthday
And I’m much too busy eating.
Filed under Poems
I’ve fallen in love, which traps me
Between a hard place and a rock
‘Cause she’s a sandals type of girl
And I… Well, I’m a sock.
Filed under Poems
Beige fields of wheat
As far as the eye can see.
In Kansas again.
Filed under Poems
Strong as an ant
And fat as a pig,
I’m always in awe
Of Hubert the Big.
He works as a bouncer
And lives at the gym,
His hair oft askew
Like he got a bad trim.
Hugh pays for luxuries
On his Wednesday nights
In a DIY octagon
Hosting amateur fights.
I thought he was gruff,
Vulgar, manly, and dumb
‘Til he invited me over
And I met his Mum…
Filed under Poems
I don’t want to learn French,
Russian, Greek, or Spanish
‘Cause when Esperanto hits the news
Those languages will vanish
And everyone will be at peace
And speak identically,
And when they do, I’m telling you,
It’ll be a sound to see.
Filed under Poems
I’m the guy who has a lot;
The guy who wants for nothing
Except a rhyme for a poor setup.
Now look at me. I’m bluthing!
Filed under Poems
I got a satellite dish
For the internet,
But when it rains
My connection goes.
So I sit and wish
It would come back,
Wondering what happens
When it snows.
Filed under Poems
To be man with aspirations
Of power, wealth, and fame
Is just to be a failed dragon.
Here, let me explain:
A dragon spends its day
Making money and making noise
And sits in its lair in the evening
Counting billions of new toys.
If a human does the same
And becomes a zillionaire
He still won’t be a dragon.
The dragon says “so there.”
I wasn’t too good at the rodeo.
The bull kicked me, so I had to stop.
No need to worry, I’ll have my revenge,
With the money I’ll make from my china shop.
Filed under Poems
