Tag Archives: Safety

If They Just Quit Posting The “No Diving” Signs, The Whole World Could Fly

One day I decided to climb a tree

So I started at the trunk

Then dug and dug through moss and dirt

Until my shovel said “thunk”.

And so I climbed on down the roots

Until I hit a molten core

And now you know who they make signs

With helpful pictures for!

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High Noooooo Thank You!

He strode into town,

A wayfaring stranger,

His haunting black eyes

An invitation to danger.

The gun on his belt

Had been recently shot.

“Seems like a bit

“Too much trouble,” I thought.

So as he turned left

And hitched up his horse

I turned to the right

And continued that course

‘Til I got to the city

And started to grin

Knowing that was a Western

I wouldn’t be in.

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Time Management

I’ve got a flight

Tomorrow at noon.

It boards at 11:00,

An hour too soon.

I need to be

At the gate by 10:00 an’

That means to be safe

I’ll shoot for 9:07.

To get there by 9:00

I should leave around 8:00

So we’ll say 7:30

In case I run late.

I should set my alarm

To give myself time

To fully prepare

So let’s say 6:09.

When you figure in traffic,

Potential assaults,

The phase of the moon,

And seismological faults

I left yesterday

At 11:08

All the while disappointed 

That I’ll probably be late.

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But I mean Well

I’m the type of friend

That gets called at 3:00 AM

By a buddy in a ditch

Needing someone to help them.

I’m the type of friend

Who will drive a hundred miles

At 90 miles an hour

To see tears turn into smiles.

I’m the type of friend

Who hits pedestrians

Because I do not sleep.

Yep, I’m that type of friend.

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Not The Adventurous Sort

If I could be any animal

For just a single day

I would be a human

‘Cause right now my life’s ok.

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Safety Tip

‘Twas three weeks since start of fall

And I heard a siren’s call

And, despite cries of protest,

Drove where the siren led.

Now I surely can attest

I was deserving of arrest.

Next time I hear a siren

I’ll pull over instead.

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