Tag Archives: Wishes

Alas, Sales Would Fall Quickly In California

We as a species

Devote so much time

To inventing a car

That’s smarter than us;

A car that can fly,

Can swim or can jump,

Can brake automatically

And not cause a fuss.

I think we can dream

Even bigger than this,

That the auto market,

There is a way to win it,

And we must redouble

Our effort to invent

A car that implodes

When a moron gets in it.


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Free Vacation Anyone?

What comes up

Must come down

Except the human propensity

To find reasons to frown.

But on the moon

The proverb’s incorrect,

So send the easily offended to the moon!

Does anyone object?

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Also, I Seem To Be Getting Smaller…

I look like a million bucks

Which really, REALLY sucks:

I’m paper thin

With off-green skin

And my value’s always in flux.

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Seeing Me For Me

To have a snazzy nickname

Like Ultra, Swabs, or Fish:

That was my desire,

My one and only wish

‘Til today I walked down broadway

And someone yelled “hey, herpes guy!”

Somehow I’m not happy

Though my wish is satisfied…

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The Dinosaur’s Last Thoughts

I wish upon a shooting star

Brightly passing in the night.

The light, sustained, grows ever closer 

So I wish with all my might.

And as the light turns fiery red

The star keeps coming closer still.

I hope my wish comes true yet I

Begin to doubt it ever will.

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Don’t Talk To Strangers, AKA Board Games

I walked up to a stranger

And promptly said “I’m bored.”

Turns out he’s a genie.

“I’ve heard your wish, my lord.”

Alas, the genie’s spelling

Was unfortunately poor,

And that’s the tale of how

I became a two-by-four.

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Love in the Time of Gigabytes

I wish that we were pixels

Brought to life by LED.

I wish that ones and zeroes

Were all there was to you and me.

I wish we could reload our save

Whenever we had a fight,

But instead we’ve got reality

To see us through the night.

Our lives would sure be simpler

If the internet had a guide

To tell us what we need to share

And what we need to hide.

We’d get along much better

If you could simply pay

To get extra relationship points…

Oh wait, that’s Valentine’s Day…

I wish that we were perfect.

If I could make it so, I would.

I’m not perfect, nor are you,

But I’m content with good.

Yes, life would be simpler

As little dots of light,

But instead we’ve got reality

And with you, that’s quite alright.

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