Instead of another reality show
Where half-naked people live in the wood
A show where people make huge pillow forts
Would do us a whole lot of good.
Tag Archives: Short
I’d Get Arrested In Europe For Writing This…
There once was an American leader
Whose mind was starting to peter.
He said “Easter’s the day
“Where we normalize gay”
And some people still think this ain’t theater.
Filed under Poems
Life Hacks
If at first you don’t succeed
Just open Word and type in “Nead”.
Autocorrect will fix everything.
You’re welcome y’all. Yours truly, King
Filed under Poems
Yay Vegas?
Tomorrow I’ll wake up at five in the morning
And sit in a cramped airplane seat
To fly to a place where sinning is rampant
And I’ll probably melt in the heat.
I’m very excited and honored and blessed
And I don’t want to sound like a jerk
But I feel I’ve been lied to when somebody said
“It’s great when you travel for work.”
Filed under Poems
It’s Important To Listen, But…
There once was a female spouse
Who said “Hi” as I came in the house.
She told me her stories,
Her pains, and her glories,
And now I need to write a poem before I go to bed… ouse.
Filed under Poems
Tuesday
Have you ever tried fried brain?
It can be a real strain
But better in your skull than to
Be served upon a plate to you.
I have a fried brain right now
And an IQ comparable to a cow
And to avoid having the IQ of a sheep
I bid you adieu and falleth asleep.
Filed under Poems
But Will They Play A Jazzy Star-Spangled Banner On A Ukulele While I Wait?
Thank you for calling the Federal Gov,
The people who rule you and speak from above.
We’re using your tax dollars to be on our break
So please wait seven hours. Your freedom’s at stake.
Filed under Poems
Duo, Pourquoi Es-Tu En Colère?
There once was a multilingual green owl
Whose temper had grown fully foul.
He said “Practice your French!”
As he pulled out a wrench
Then watched me spell “vingt” with a scowl.
Filed under Poems
My Essay on the Causes of World War II
I like how people decided
That art was subjective
And you can like anything you want
But then you draw a bicycle
And you get a C in art class
From a guy whose degree
Taught them a red line on a blank canvas
Was worth millions of dollars.
Maybe I should be a politician instead?
Filed under Poems
This Is One Instance Where A Live Stream Would Be Helpful
Can I write a poem
In exactly ten hours?
I could were I not so aloof.
See, it would be brilliant
But I’m insufficiently resilient
To answer your query: “Where’s the proof?”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 