Tag Archives: Short

All According To Plan…

I forgot to write tonight

So I type as I brush my teeth.

If I don’t finish quickly

There’s no telling what

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Indie vs. Classic

Some people write songs that span verses

With reference to literary curses.

Some people write “Born in the USA”

On a napkin, then call it a day.

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In The Beginning

Apple sent me their terms and conditions

But my wife said “You don’t have to read it.”

So I listened to my wife

And now my eternal life…

Well, turns out I have to concede it.

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Does That Make Me A Hipster?

We’ve invented machines to play games

That run at 60 frames

Every second, but I

Prefer to play my

Pinball machine with the flames.

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If At First You Don’t Succeed…

There twice was an unlikeable chick

Who expressed her detractors were “Ick”.

She lost to a man

With a very fake tan

And I’m not opposed to the schtick.

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What Really Matters

‘Teas the night of the election

And all round the world

All the people were asking

“Why’d they kill the poor squirrel?”

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Glue: Origins

There once was a dude so tough

That he grabbed a horse by the scruff

And then used extreme heat

To melt horsey’s feet

Just so he could stick paper to stuff.

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Dear Every Channel Today, Apparently…

If you feel the need to change our minds

Two days before our votes are cast

I suggest that your campaign was crap

And the time for changing minds has passed.

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When You’re Sick Of Moderation, So You Let The CCP Do It For You

Have you heard about Tiananmen Square?

Well, in case you weren’t aware

China did some bad stuff.

I hope this limerick’s enough

To get Chinese spammers out of my hair.

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Pro Choices?

Some people put pronouns in their bio.

Some people post proverbs instead.

The two groups both share a common belief

That the others are off in the head.

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