Tonight we play D&D
And pretend to not be me
And instead be a wizard
Who’s also a lizard
And does not write bad poetry.
Tag Archives: Short
Burn Those Calories!
I once had a buddy named Roddy
Whose fitness routine was shoddy.
His plan, as he stated,
Was to just be cremated
And end up with a smokin’ hot body.
Filed under Poems
For Reference, The Question Was “Why Do You Need To Visit Congress”
There once was a venomous fly
That, with one touch, could make a man die.
It’s untraceable and yellow.
I’ll release it, dear fellow,
And that is my whole answer why.
Filed under Poems
Murica
‘Twas the Fifth of July
And all through the room
People were sleepy
From lots of boom boom.
But we can take solace
As tinnitus lingers:
The worst of our neighbors
Now have but nine fingers.
Filed under Poems
Plane And Simple
While early birds may get the worm
Another truth may make you squirm:
Early birds often get
Sucked into a jet
And thus, to sleep late, I affirm.
Filed under Poems
Debate Limerick, 2024
There once was a were roses were blue
Or they were red, but they can be that too
And they went oh gone by the thing
And the… he’s a bad flower and I’m king
And we beat medicare and covid is a jew.
Filed under Poems
Still Better Than Poetry
I applied for a new job today
With better benefits and pay.
It’s that eel that pops out
From a rock, looks about,
And goes back inside 10,000 times a day.
Filed under Poems
Am I Sexy And Dangerous Now?
Roses are red.
Vegans are pale.
When they read my blog in 10 years
They’ll probably put me in jail.
Filed under Poems
Vegans Rejoice!
If you advertise a place
For a Weight Watchers meet and greet
But it’s not an officially-branded event
Is that an imitation pork meet?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 