The house was uninhabitable
But I am uninhibitable…
To squat is inevitably unethical
But the crime’s rhymes are inimitable!
Tag Archives: Short
Do Your Job!
I get that without spiders
Other bugs would be more numerous,
But I still find it sorta said
And even moreso humorous
That despite there being webs everywhere
The bugs are still voluminous.
This is the dilemma of our time
And a cornerstone of humanness.
Filed under Poems
Rare Steak: Origins
Once, a guy ordered a steak
But the chef’s credentials were fake.
He said “Blood means its yummy.
“Raw is good for your tummy.”
And now that’s just what people make.
Filed under Poems
Now THIS Is A Social Movement I Can Get Behind
If we all just agreed not to buy
What we see on TV for a year
We could put advertising behind us
And forever be ad-free and clear
Filed under Poems
Imagine The Worst Thing In The Universe… Then Make It An LGBTQ Miniseries
Whenever you say “This is the worst”
Just ask yourself questions three:
1. How long will it last?
2. Have I seen worse in the past?
3. Is it going to be bought by Disney?
Filed under Poems
The Feminine Paradox
She said “I love ventriloquists.”
Her vagina said “That’s right!”
In my defense, she laughed at that
But I’m still on the couch tonight.
Filed under Poems
Pride Month, Day 1
“I went to the club and blew 50 bucks”
Is a normal enough thing to say
Unless you happen to be a deer
And especially one who is gay.
Filed under Poems
The Only Difference Is One Candidate Was Convicted
There once was a hush-money trial
That went on for quite a while.
The jury used their melon
And decided he’s a felon
But he’ll still win votes with a smile.
Filed under Poems
Norton Hears A Who
My aunt installed some software
From an disreputable source
And it wreaked havoc on her life
(As these things do, of course).
Turns out it gave her pink-eye,
So in case you’re not aware
This is the first case of illness caused
By aunt eye-virus software.
Filed under Poems
Two Types Of Heaven
I believe in a world without sin,
Where nobody’s mean and we all fit in,
A world without sorrow or famine or fear
But it doesn’t have cake, so I’m fine staying here.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 