I gazed upon a whale
With a look of utter awe.
I was entranced by her tail
And enraptured by her maw.
I showed appreciation
By the way I eyed her,
And I told her I was grateful
That she was not a spider.
Tag Archives: Stupid
Research Paper
Wild chickens of the North;
Black and white, they sally forth.
Their wings are much akin to fins.
That much I know of penguins.
Filed under Poems
It made a Great Commemorative Mug Shot
The sign said “no trespassing,”
But I did.
The police came driving up,
So I hid.
The cops found me out,
So I lied.
They sent me off to prison,
Where I reside.
They ask “would you do it again?”
I say “yes.”
Were I smarter, I wouldn’t be
In this mess,
Because next time at Nasa
My face
Won’t be in the hole for
“Take your picture in space.”
Filed under Poems
Zeus
Thunder in my stomach
And fire in my eyes;
When Zeus sayeth “bite me”
Obedience is not wise.
Filed under Poems
As Seen On Youtube
Have you ever been walking,
Not thinking at all,
When you look up
And in love you fall?
I almost did
At 10:30 today,
Except that stupid pole
Got in the way.
Natural Selection
The eagle sat at the tiptop
Of a cedar tree, casually preening.
The raptor had no conception
Of how the awkward arbor was leaning.
The tree had spent many hours
Under the whip of the weather.
It gave in that day, but the eagle did stay,
Saying silently “just one more feather.”
That eagle dropped seventeen stories
Without even the thought to take wing,
So focused on ridding his feathers
Of that one ugly, hard-to-reach thing.
Thus died the last beautiful eagle
And the fashionable avian gene.
That’s why eagles today are so ugly,
And really don’t like to be seen.
Filed under Poems
My Mind: Behind the Scenes
I have to go to the bathroom,
But I don’t want to leave my bed,
And so I will do neither
And write this poem instead.
Filed under Poems
Driver’s Ed Dropouts
Saw down a tree.
Chop it down with an ax.
Burn it, chainsaw it,
Send it anthrax.
There are lots of good ways
To get rid of a tree,
But hitting it with your car
Doesn’t sound smart to me.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 