Tag Archives: Analogy

The Analogy Is Actually Kinda Perfect

America is like Halo:

It started out with violence

And an independent spirit

Fighting an immortal empire

Who knew well that we’d fear it.

Then the beloved sequel came

And we gave up the slaves we stole,

Fought a battle on both sides

To forge our true united soul.

Then came history’s “Halo 3”

Which was forgettable all in all,

Clearly not its glorious peak

But it hadn’t hit the wall.

When the Vietnam years came

Thus started Halo 4

Where we spat on our own soldiers

Drafted into pointless war.

Now here we are in Halo 5

Where profit is the king,

Equality is an afterthought

And everything’s covered in bling.

We who love the franchise past,

The Halo 1’s and 2’s

Who love America in spirit

Not America in the news

Look hopefully at the future

While feeling kind of vexed

Wondering what the powers that be

Will inevitably screw up next.

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Analogies Only Go So Far

Cooking bacon

Is like installing updates

On a computer

With too little RAM:

It’s seems to take hours

And it spits oil at you

All to make you get fatter,

But when it’s done… Dayum!

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Life is like…

Life is like a game

Of charades

In which people can talk

And watch parades

And have to make money

Or they’ll starve to death

And nobody actually cares

What people are trying to communicate,

Kind of like life.

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