Tag Archives: Truth

Really Puts Things In Perspective…

A seahorse is always angry

For that is the seahorse’s curse.

You probably can’t tell that it’s angry

And that just makes the poor thing feel worse.

The things that make seahorses happy

Are skis and the word “Bangalore.”

The next time that you see a seahorse

I hope you can empathize more.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Diversity

I told my family that I’m gay.

They said “No problem, that’s okay.”

I told them next that I do drugs.

They said “Let us give you hugs.”

I said I like to eat poo.

They said “We’re always here for you.”

I told them I voted for Trump.

They said “Kill yourself you nazi asshole.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Dear Snowflakes…

If the words of a total stranger

Can cause great offense to you

Then I have just one thing to say

And that is whoop-dee-doo.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Yes, I Accept Requests (Also, Go Hawks)

I was asked by a fan not named Ringo

To write a poem about Barkevius Mingo.

He isn’t a slacker

As an outside linebacker

But his surname limits my descriptive lingo.

2 Comments

Filed under Poems

Tomorrow I’ll Be Motivated

This year I wrote poems

In large quantities.

Next year I will do the same.

That’s why I don’t mind

That my poem this evening

Is a bit on the spectrum of lame.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Dear Womxn…

The title’s not a typo

But a movement that began

Because the words “women” and “woman”

Include the words “men” and “man.”

I support those of all genders

Whether pronounceable or not

But there are a few more words

Of which ye womxn haven’t thought:

Mandatory, mandate

Manuscript and mandolin,

Manufacture, mandril,

Manhole, manager, mansion,

Manitoba, manometric,

And we haven’t seen

Manservant, mend, mental, and menstruate,

Manhandle, mangosteen,

Plus Truman, human, lumen,

Mandrake and manipulate,

Manifest, manageable,

Mannerly and mandarinate,

Mandatory, mandragora,

Manchineels and manticore,

Manicure, manifest, manubriums,

And over 1,600 more.

The point that I am making

Is that “man” shows up a lot;

It’s just a common phoneme,

Not a patriarchal plot.

So don’t mention Womxn to me

Or their mantras, manifestos,

Or other such manure.

Now excuse me, I’m making pesto.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

We Need A Common Enemy

I think the USA should change

Their national anthem to

Taylor Swift’s rendition of

“Look what you made me do.”

It would soothe racial tensions

And bring the unity we lack

‘Cause everyone would kneel

And beg the feds to change it back.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems