Every sport on Earth
Is just humans playing fetch
With some extra rules.
Tag Archives: Truth
What I Learned In Acting Class
Growing up means being sleepy
But working anyway,
Trying hard to not be creepy
While you earn your pay,
And maybe plotting a murder or two
But not giving that away.
Filed under Poems
A Portrait Of The Artist As A Working Adult
Sometimes I am sleepy
So I write a haiku
To fulfill my daily promise
Of writing poems for you.
Sometimes the day after
My sleepiness departs
And I grace you with a poem
About love or dogs or farts.
Other times my sleepiness
Remains in all it’s splendor
For sleep has been neglected
By me, it’s sworn defender.
And so on such occasions,
Hypothetical as they may be,
I write two haikus in a row
(And sometimes even three)
But tonight I use a tactic
Less observed but just as smart:
I write about my writer’s block
And pass it off as art.
Filed under Poems
He Has Become More Powerful Than We Can Possibly Imagine
Death hung up the phone
And looked upon the acres
Of tombstones,
Each of them for a deceased death,
Each of which also died
Minutes after receiving the same call.
From Chuck Norris:
“Ready for another try?”
But this time Chuck was ready
To pull an Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Death was just a means to an end…
Filed under Poems
The Best Part Of Waking Up
Pooping is great!
Pooping is fun!
Just sit on the toulet
And ploop! You’re all done!
Or if you are male
And/or have a phone
Pooping can give you
An hour alone!
Filed under Poems
Orthodox Inroverts
When people say “What would Jesus do?”
I take that to mean
That I should go underground
And for three days not be seen.
Filed under Poems
I’m Going To Get Fired For This One…
Meritocracy
Is what happens when you give
White kids scholarships.
Filed under Poems
Visualizing Data
If
You
Plan
Ahead, you
Can make anything
Look like a graph that
Extends dramatically at the end of the line.
Stats
Lie.
Filed under Poems
Secrets From Da Biz
Play a little bit wrong
With a lottle bit of style
And the people gonna clap
And the judges gonna smile.
But if you play it perfectly
And accurately articulate
I hoping you enjoy standing
By the phone, where you’ll forever wait.
Filed under Poems
