What if there were a fairy tale
In which a handsome knight
Went off to save a princess
On his steed of pearly white
But when he leaned to kiss her
And woke her from her sleep
She turned into a zombie
And ate the patriarchal creep?
Tag Archives: Zombies
Competitive
Jack said “I bet” I can hold
My breath longer than you.
We shook hands and I staked cash
Knowing it wasn’t true.
Then I inhaled and so did he
Our cheeks and chests puffed out
And we proceeded with not-breathing
With the hope of earning clout.
15 seconds later
We both were doing fine.
We both were getting tired
When we hit a minute nine.
The suffering really started
At a minute thirty-two
And when we hit two minutes
We both had turned quite blue.
Another 30 seconds
And another after that.
Even though my name is Dave I
Hallucinated I was Matt.
A minute then another
Then an hour, then a week…
Neither of us dared exhale.
Our lungs just wouldn’t leak.
And when the comet hit the Earth
And brought the end of days
Jack and I, two zombies,
Saw the error of our ways.
We held our breath for eons,
‘Til the East became the West.
In our undeath we’ll break the tie
By seeing who can piss the best.
Filed under Poems
Just Wait ‘Til The Angels Give Me A Harp
I sang a song of love and peace
So thankful for the fallen.
I knew that those beyond the grave
Could surely hear my callin’.
And thus the unknown soldier
And the deceased cream of the crop
Made humankind better once more
By asking me to stop.
Filed under Poems
Free Spirit Seeking Eternal Partner – ZfH
Home is where the heart is,
So the saying goes.
It’s a saying that was the cause
Of all my earthly woes.
Then I met some zombies,
And they were pretty slick
‘Cause they made my home
Inside of their stomach.
So I was on vacation
For the first time ever,
Although looking back, my “life”
Wasn’t part of the endeavor.
It took guts to free myself,
And I’d love to share the wealth.
Please tell me your address,
Because undeath’s good for your health.
Filed under Poems
We regret to inform you…
A zombie that lived in a crypt
Read “Men’s Health” and wanted to get ripped,
So he pumped lots of iron
‘Til his cadaver was tirin’.
Too bad Hollywood passed on my script.
Filed under Poems
The Cheer Horde
On, two, three, four!
Kill us dead, we’ll rise once more.
Five, six, seven, eight!
Unending hunger we must sate.
Tired, hungry, cranky, dead,
We want to open up your head.
Under sun or under rains,
Go go zombies! Eat their brains!
Uuuuuuugh… ZOMBIES!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 