I’m tired of B-team,
But that’s who I am.
I’m a win-silver human,
A second-place Sam.
I’m tired of B-team,
The farm team, the student.
I’m sick of “you’ll get there.”
“Stick with it.” “Be prudent.”
I’m tired of B-team,
Backup, JV.
I’m ready for bigger,
To live and to be.
I’m tired of B-team,
But I’ll change how I see.
I’m not best at that,
But I’m the very best me.
I smoked an aspirin once
While I was riding on a train.
I saw iridescent rainbows
And a world devoid of pain.
Then I smoked Viagra,
And man was that a joy!
I grew just like Pinocchio.
I felt like a real boy.
Filed under Poems
If a necktie were a seagull
And shirts resembled chili,
Then pants look like a beagle
And business men look silly.
Filed under Poems
They set up the board
In four neat lines.
The kings they ward
Through strength of minds.
White moves his pawn,
Then black does too.
The game rolls on.
The kings stand true.
First blood is drawn
By a charging knight.
The queen takes pawn,
And bishops fight.
The rook takes knight
Then pawn kills pawn.
Black fights white.
The kings carry on.
After an hour
And a twist of fate,
The queen shows her power
And that’s checkmate.
The players stand.
The battle is done,
And both are winners,
For both had fun.
Filed under Poems
If go to the sign of the naked duck,
You’ll see some gals you want to befriend.
If you feel that you could use a suck,
There’s a vacuum shop around the bend.
If you want to get more “bang” for your buck,
I got a place for you, bub.
It’s a little place called the “Cluck cluck cluck,”
‘Cause it’s a chicken-strip club.
Filed under Poems
Once again I write to you,
As this poet is prone to do,
To try to change the point of view
That nobody is perfect.
So close your eyes and breathe in.
Then open them so you can read again.
Here’s my theory. There’s just one sin:
The judgement of imperfect.
“You fail, she’s ugly, he’s vulgar, I’m bad.”
According to what? Why make yourself sad?
Life is happening as it always had.
Life is always perfect.
“Why is there evil? Pleasure and pain?”
“Why is there sadness, which falls with the rain?”
Why think these thoughts? What do you have to gain?
Instead, think “This is Perfect.”
Now maybe I’m wrong, and life’s simply crappy.
Maybe you enjoy being unhappy!
You think (with good reason) this poem is sappy.
I accept those reactions as perfect.
But I hope you’ll at least give this viewpoint a try.
This change in your thinking brings blue to the sky.
You will watch your blessings multiply.
Smile! Why not?
You’re perfect.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Shelly shivers several shivers
By the side of the seashore.
She sees the sheen of seal-shaped seashells.
(A scene unforeseen for sure).
She’s a shy shaking searcher,
Seeking several shining shells,
‘Cause she sure supports herself
Through seal-shaped seashells she sure sells.
Someone once asked, “What would be more dangerous: Slapping a bear on the face, or slapping an elk on the chest?” May this poem be your answer.
If you slap a bear across the face
It will probably break your bones.
It will maul you, bruise you, make you bleed,
And smash your freakin’ phone!
But if you slap an elk across the chest
It will more than end your life,
‘Cause that elk knows where you live,
And he’ll kidnap your wife.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Filed under Poems
If you share a room your are roommates.
Two witches, they are broom mates.
Two husbands might be groom mates,
And mass graves make for tomb mates.
Two buddies in Australia
Are just plain mates, it’s true.
But we don’t need those titles.
I just want to mate with you.
Filed under Poems
Sticks and stones
May shatter bones.
Steel tears hearts asunder.
Smoke and fire
Are the devil’s choir,
Who’s songs are mankind’s blunder.
But through the violence
And moments of silence
We make a noble choice:
We remember those
Slain by our foes.
We carry on their voice.
So bombings and such,
Our fears they touch,
But our hope cannot be shattered.
Toll Heaven’s bell
For those who fell,
And remember that they mattered.
The Daily Travesty 