They used to be marooned
On an island, all alone,
Without food or water
Or even a smartphone.
Now 16 survivors
Have to stay at a 2-star hotel
With only basic cable and
Non-organic hair gel.
In the old days, the survivors
Would compete in feats of strength,
Rewarded for success by an
Increase in isolation’s length.
Now they have to listen
As someone reads offensive tweets
And try as hard as possible
To not cry from their seats.
I guess the type of people
Who can live outside the city
Don’t sign up for TV shows
And I think that’s a pity.
Now excuse me as I watch
Carsten, Miracle, and Regan
Compete for who goes longest
Without saying “I’m a vegan.“
The Daily Travesty 