Tag Archives: Bad

Pulitzer Bait

What in the sheltered blue of dawn

Was in the sunlight brown as fawn

Turned reddish bronze in ochre night

And yellow in the Summer’s flight.

The spectrum warranted by such

Invoked in hearts a feeling much

As was supposed in rumor and buzz

That no one knew just what it was.

Opaqueness faded into clear

As people gathered far and near

To gaze on the whatever thing

Until the spoken truth would ring.

Alas as stanzas came and went,

The verses writ and meter bent

It soon was clear that even I,

The poet, could not identify

Just what in sheltered blue of dawn

Would visably change as all looked on.

This ending fixed inside my head

I thought of a rhyme and went to bed.

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Very Little Planning Went Into This Poem (Or My Day In General)

It’s late.

I’m tired.

Trump says

“You’re fired.”

I lack

My mind.

People who can’t see

Are blind.

I waited

So long

To write

What’s wrong

Yet still

My other stuff

Is often worse

So there. *Huff*

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I Made Them For You!

Goats don’t make good rolling pins:

That’s how this recipe begins.

They kick and spit and stomp and bray

But my cookies taste fine anyway.

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How To Run A Bad Poetry Blog

Step 1: Think

Step 2: Don’t

Step 3: At 11:00

Give up at write “bloant.”

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…And Don’t Even Get Me Started On Verse And Meter!

A picture is worth a thousand words…

I’m sure there’s a poem there.

Normally I’d be lazy and post a picture

But tonight even that much I don’t care.

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Never Elect A Plant

Power corrupts

So flower power

Can cause, for some,

Hydrangea dange’a.

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Lacking Results From My C/T Scan (In A Sense)

I have a confession:

I can’t spell dietician.

Autocorrect is not helpful

And abuses its position.

If it has a “c” or “t”

For the ician/itian portion

Forces all my logic

To perform quite the contortion.

I was going to write a poem

Full of whimsy, fun, and laughter

But I lacked aforementioned spellings

That I’d long-since afore-sought after.

Thus you get this poem

Lacking good diet advice.

On the bright side dumbness inspired me

And I guess that’s pretty nice.

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I Propose A New Form Of Government, With Blackjack… And Hookers

“People can’t be trusted

“To govern themselves.”

Thus spake the many to you.

“But we, the incompetent

“Untrustworthy many

“Have the wisdom to pick those who’ll do.”

And so those who can’t govern

Pick from among them

An elite narcissistic few

And that, my dear readers,

Is why we the people

Are quite democratically screwed.

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The Cards Started Strong

Some of my friends are Hearts,

Full of love and kind and soft.

Other friends are Diamonds,

All rich and perfectly coiffed.

Some of my friends are Clubs

‘Cause they’re blunt and like to drink.

But I don’t yet know any Spades

Or anything relevant that rhymes with drink.

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Forrest Gump 2: Lost In New York

Life is like a box of chocolates:

It costs money and makes you fat.

Most people enjoy it as it kills them slowly.

Yeah, life’s a lot like that.

But it doesn’t have to be:

We can smile and and act as equals

Starting with something on which we all agree,

Specifically that most movies don’t need sequels.

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