Life is like a box of chocolates:
It costs money and makes you fat.
Most people enjoy it as it kills them slowly.
Yeah, life’s a lot like that.
But it doesn’t have to be:
We can smile and and act as equals
Starting with something on which we all agree,
Specifically that most movies don’t need sequels.
Filed under Poems
When I see your smiling face,
Your shining eyes and feline grace
I almost feel something at all
But then I don’t. So there.
Filed under Poems
When I see your smiling face,
Your shining eyes and feline grace
I almost feel somethig at all
But then I don’t. So there.
Filed under Poems
Once again I’ve been so busy
Doing other things
That I struggle to write a poem
Before the new day rings.
I’d say the quality suffered
But to do so would be a sin
For these poems had no quality
With which to begin.
Filed under Poems
And on the seven-million-fourteenth day
The Christian God said “let there be
“An era of slow internet.”
No other explanation do I see.
Filed under Poems
My baggage is here.
I’m safe and happy
Which means once again
These poems will be short and crappy.
I’ve got a hobby that’s really cool
That makes me feel like a man.
I like staring at my roof;
I am a ceiling fan.
Filed under Poems
I spent all evening in a hot tub
Until 11:15 tonight.
I’m writing this poem while wrinkly
Which, in my book, makes it alright.
Filed under Poems
I was born into a social contract.
I didn’t choose it for myself.
It says that I must obey laws
And I can never be an elf.
It includes some pretty lousy clauses
Like “you cannot gramatically refer to yourself in the first person as ‘me'”
And “poems should have meter.”
That’s why I quit to play an RPG.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 