There was an unwanted doodad
That everyone figured was bad
But just for today
We can send it your way
For 10% off. Aren’t you glad?
Tag Archives: Black Friday
Enough Is Enough! (But I’m Having Seconds Anyway)
I’m looking forward to eating turkey
Until I’m comatose instead of perky
And the fact that in around seven days
There will come an end to the Black Fridays.
Filed under Poems
If Thanksgiving Wore Sweatpants
Today is Black Friday,
That grand shopping day
Where everything costs
What the white people pay.
You can buy all the things
That nobody bought
When the items were valued
As the resellers thought.
Your lunch will be yummy,
Just like last night’s dinner
And you give up your goal
Of ending the year thinner.
Filed under Poems
Black Friday?
‘Twas two nights before Thanksgiving
And on every website
There were black Friday ads
That were sure to delight,
For why wait three more days
To get ludicrous deals
Like fifty-percent off
Those bejeweled heels?
Sure, in July
They were 99 bucks
But now they’re 199.99 89 dollars.
What incredible luck!
Today we are thankful
For bargains galore.
Now just three days to wait
Before violence in the store!
Filed under Poems
Want Some Drink With Dose Fries?
The french-fried potatoes
That I bought from Wendy’s
Are covered in tattoos
And wear pants around their knees,
They complain about white privilege
And say “sup” instead of “hey.”
That’s when I remembered
That today is black fry day.
The Black Truth
I want to be a member
Of the seething throng
Who wait outside at five A.M.
To buy a half-price thong.
But, alas, I am afflicted
With a terrible blight indeed.
It makes me feel as if already
I have everything I need.
Also, I have no money.
The Daily Travesty 