I hope we never discover
Another element for the periodic table
‘Cause you know they’d name it “Deeznutzium”
Or something like that if they’re able.
Tag Archives: Chemistry
I’m Only A Little Salty About This Guest Poem by Katrina Ivers
Because you are a chemical
You don’t wear a size nine shoe
But you are so oft-forgotten
No one knows that but you.
We all worry so darn much about
Your friend Sodium’s consumption
We think you aren’t an important part
And that’s an erroneous assumption!
Why Sodium all on her own
Is a terribly temperamental sort
Prone to explosions when meeting water
So her friend Chloride we should court.
Alas most people barely passed
Their college chemistry classes
So by ignoring Chloride, friends,
We risk the explosion of our asses.
Are you bad enough to be a guest poet? Email me your work to find out! TheDailyTravesty@yahoo.com
Filed under Poems
Three Stupid Little Poems That You May Or May Not Enjoy
“Tough Stough”
They’re was once a person
Who said that life is though.
I think life was thougher for him
Because he was dumb, yo.
——————————————————–
“Follow Your Dreams”
It’s hard being a teenage mom.
I’m really not a fan,
But I think I have it harder
Given I’m a middle-aged man.
——————————————————–
“Find Yourself”
Iodine fluorine
Yttrium ununoctium
Calcium nitrogen
Rhenium astatine
Thorium iodine sulfur
Yttrium ununoctium
Argon rhenium
Uranium neodysium erbium
Tungsten oxygen krypton dysprosium oxygen
Filed under Poems
Chemistry
Blood is thicker than water.
Water is thicker than air.
Air isn’t thicker than anything
Which doesn’t seem very fair.
So chemists invented some elements
That made air feel less thin,
Thus air is thicker than helium.
So did modern science begin.
Filed under Poems
The Simple Life
Steve the fish lived in a dish
(A bowl, to be precise).
He shared his private windowsill
With two ex-lab mice.
When the mice stopped eating cheese,
Steve was not perturbed.
When they sprouted fangs and wings
He still was not disturbed.
And when the ex-lab mice escaped
To terrorize the Earth
Steve swam in circles happily
And reminisced about his birth.
And when the Earth went up in flames
And did finally dissappear,
Steve the fish was satisfied
With his one long, happy year.
Filed under Poems
Chem101
I dreamt of cauldrons
That bubble and trash
Full of hideous mixtures
Of fear, hope, and trash,
Of test tube babies
And nightmares on tap,
And of disembodied brains
And all that other Matrix crap.
But as I awake
My heart fills with sorrow.
I’ve seen none of these things
And the final’s tomorrow.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 