To have a snazzy nickname
Like Ultra, Swabs, or Fish:
That was my desire,
My one and only wish
‘Til today I walked down broadway
And someone yelled “hey, herpes guy!”
Somehow I’m not happy
Though my wish is satisfied…
Tag Archives: Happiness
Somewhere In Texas
Somewhere in Texas
The gray clouds were parted,
Children didn’t comment
Even though someone farted,
A lone sunbeam broke
Through the sky, dark and wild,
And pond’ring his legacy
George W. smiled.
Somewhere in Texas
The dogs stopped their barking.
The deserts had rain
And the cities had parking.
And in the un-droughted sunbeamy parking lot
Sat an ex-executive dope,
No longer most hated
Or so he would hope.
Somewhere in Texas
A prairie dog sits.
It eats when it’s hungry
And afterwards… you know.
That rodent posts nothing
On Facebook today
And if we are lucky
Our friends will be the same way.
Filed under Poems
Things Could Be Better… Or Not?
Remember that time,
That era of bliss,
When everything was
So much better than this?
When rainbows were present
Despite sunny days?
When you truthfully liked
One or more high school plays?
When people were friendlier
Than they are now?
When you could eat beef
Without harming a cow?
When the radio played
All your favorite songs
And giant monkeys weren’t kings
But elected-representative Kongs?
When Hamilton tickets
Could be purchased without
Selling infants on ebay
And a diagnosis of gout?
When Harambe was living
And that neighbor you hate
Was still in a prison
Somewhere in Kuwait?
But alas, you are peasants
And remember you don’t.
You tell me “say sorry,”
But too bad, I won’t.
Filed under Poems
The Consequences of Peace
My baggage is here.
I’m safe and happy
Which means once again
These poems will be short and crappy.
I’m Satisfied Though
Although I’m not clam-happy yet
I’m happy as an oyster.
It’s happinesd that’s mixed with tears-
Still happy, only moister.
Filed under Poems
T-Rex Problems
I’m happy and I know it
And I really want to show it
But I find myself unable
To comply with your demands
For no matter how happy I am
I find myself in a bit of a jam
For I find myself unable
To do the deed of “clap your hands.”
Filed under Poems
Love in the Time of Gigabytes
I wish that we were pixels
Brought to life by LED.
I wish that ones and zeroes
Were all there was to you and me.
I wish we could reload our save
Whenever we had a fight,
But instead we’ve got reality
To see us through the night.
Our lives would sure be simpler
If the internet had a guide
To tell us what we need to share
And what we need to hide.
We’d get along much better
If you could simply pay
To get extra relationship points…
Oh wait, that’s Valentine’s Day…
I wish that we were perfect.
If I could make it so, I would.
I’m not perfect, nor are you,
But I’m content with good.
Yes, life would be simpler
As little dots of light,
But instead we’ve got reality
And with you, that’s quite alright.
Candy Mountain
There’s a monster hiding
In a mountain of sugar and fat.
It calls to me.
I cannot flee,
But I’m okay with that.
Filed under Poems
Giver and Reciever
Bouquet of flowers
Delivered to me.
No name on the card,
And no giver I see.
I’m but an inpatient
At the amnesiac’s ward.
Sending stuff to myself
Is it’s own reward.
The Daily Travesty 