I believe in a world without sin,
Where nobody’s mean and we all fit in,
A world without sorrow or famine or fear
But it doesn’t have cake, so I’m fine staying here.
Tag Archives: Heaven
Last Time I’ll Use Tinder! (AKA Morning Head)
This morning I woke up in Heaven
In my bed at 10:43.
The sun glowed gold. I smiled
And your face smiled back at me.
The coffee and breakfast was ready
With a whole day to spend with my queen.
I looked back at your face and realized
Your body was nowhere to be seen.
Turns out to awaken in Heaven
Is not always as nice as it seems,
Or so I discovered when angels
Began to harmonize songs with my screams.
As I woke back on Earth to the thunder
All pale, sweaty, cold, and alone
I realized Heaven’s got its downsides
And sometimes there’s no place like home.
Filed under Poems
Now Serving Number 1,347,362,897,363,076…
I think that when you die
You go up to the sky
And log in to the Heaven registry
Of those awaiting birth
Again onto the Earth.
It’s just another big bureaucracy.
You spend the days after your doom
In cloud-nine’s waiting room
With the patio salesman, Bill.
So if you have a heart attack
You’ll see why Christ has not come back,
And at this rate, he probably never will.
Filed under Poems
Eternal Anything
Nine times out of eleven
A guy can go to Heaven,
And to be among the nine
Tops my list of fears.
For hymns and harps are great,
And for flying I can’t wait,
But eternity is just too much
When you live 100 years.
So take your eternal pleasure
I’ll just enjoy my leisure
On this temporary paradise
That’s called mortality.
That doesn’t make me bad
(Maybe in one sense, but not a cad).
Life can be enjoyed
With a sense of finite morality.
Filed under Uncategorized
The Daily Travesty 