If we elected God himself
To lead the USA
Half of us would disapprove
Because he’s anti-gay.
Another half would criticize
The way his job was done
And make memes calling him socialist:
“Loaves and fishes for everyone!”
His “love your neighbor” policy
Would, by nationalists, be despised.
We’d call him dumb to design an ark
That’s unfeasibly sized.
We’d cry out “Egomaniac”
Because he asks for praise.
We’d complain that since he made time
The weekend should last four days.
Mary’d call him a rapist
After carrying his son
And some would say the Russians
Are the reason that he won.
They’d break the third commandment
Every day within the news
And people would complain
Because he panders to the Jews.
If we made God the president
He’d be called an old white shill,
But for sure his graven image
Would never grace a dollar bill.