A while ago, a farmer
Would be thought a cause of harm
If he didn’t use asbestos
To fireproof his farm.
A while ago a woman
Who was pregnant and upset
Was told her pain would go away
With a tasty cigarette.
A while ago a baby
Was calm as calm could be,
Unbothered by those nasty flies
Thanks to some DDT.
They told them “Trust the science”
And “You’re selfish to abstain.”
So here we watch as history
Repeats itself again.
Filed under Poems
When I was ten
The world was bright.
The sun would wear a smile.
When I was twenty
The world was fun
And I ran a four-minute mile.
After I turned the thirty
The world was my oyster.
I was truly in the flow,
And now I’m ninety-eight years old
Being told “the memory’s first to go.”
Filed under Poems
Jesus’s phone rang, and so he asked “who dis?”
The voice told him “my name is Judas.”
Looking back on it now
Jesus needn’t’ve said “ow”
If right then he had fled to Barbudas.
If your life is a “1” out right now
When you’re dead it might be a “10,”
Like the ancient Greek guy, Thermos,
Who’s laughing his ass to death again.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 