I asked her out to eat with me
At Chez Insertnamehere.
It was a place with candlelight
And very expensive beer.
After our romantic dinner
Conversation hit a lull.
She said “Let’s have dinner again,”
But, alas, I was already full.
Tag Archives: Humor
Three Equally Feasible Ideals
Free college is nice
But some don’t want it.
Free healthcare is grand
But some people taunt it.
If we want to please
The entire USA
Pass a law that makes
Every day Saturday!
Filed under Poems
Just Pause For A Second…
The difference between a joke
And a poem’s not the rhyming;
A poem’s funny if it’s true,
But why’s a joke funny timing.
Filed under Poems
Wallace and Gromit
It’s truly not a hoax
That there are only two types of folks:
Those who think Wensleydale is cracking
And those whose education is lacking.
Filed under Poems
It Used To Be An Innocent Day Of Wiccan Ritual… Before The Dark Times
Instead of holidays with mangers
Tonight we ignore all the dangers
Of costumed little shits
Led by cats with big tits
Who, through threats, steal candy from strangers.
Filed under Poems
When You Break Up / Lines In A Poem / So It Looks Longer / Than It Really / Is
Warlords might not be
The sensitive type,
Not ones to use shampoo
Or lotions,
But they’re a lot better
Than pacifists
Who are racist
Against certain oceans.
Filed under Poems
You Scream, I Scream, We All Scream Because Of Them…
Some folks like chocolate ice creams,
Some folks prefer vanillas,
And some folks don’t like ice creams at all
Because they’re serial killas.
Filed under Poems
Feel Free To Add More!
If America falls into a second civil war
And you live in a republican town
It’s smart to hide in the welfare office
‘Cause that’s one place the Dems won’t burn down.
——————————————————–
If America falls into a second civil war
And you live in a democratic city
You’ll get shot alright
But if you’re not white
No one will say anything that makes you feel shitty.
——————————————————–
If America falls into a second civil war
And California is wiped off the map
The quality of films will go through the roof
As long as you like that Japanese crap.
Filed under Poems
A Oui Problem…
When I discovered my gender-neutral parent
Was not my biological dad
I realized it was quite the faux pa.
Yes, this poem is bad.
Filed under Poems
Truth Hurts
She said “You’re too accommodating
“And also get defensive a lot.”
I said “That’s fine, we’ll work it out
“And also, no I’m not.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 